18th Floor Balcony (Frerard)

Chapter 11: Stuck On A Little Hot Mess

Gerard had cried for the longest time until he couldn't anymore. He was so drained that his eyes couldn't secrete any more tears. He hated how much his eyes and face stung from all the crying he's been doing. He couldn't bear to face Mikey or Frank, though; not after all that's happened.

"So, do you think I should leave?" Rosalie asked, shuffling into Gerard's bedroom. "Your brother has left and my grandson seems to be sleeping,"

Gerard would have told Rosalie to get out, but in all honesty, she did nothing wrong. Maybe he needs to talk to someone after all. The more he seemed to bottle it up, the more he felt his rage eat at him. It shouldn't hurt to talk to Frank's grandmother.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I wish I could have been able to help Frank...,"

Rosalie walked over to the balcony. She leaned out and looked at the view of the setting sun.

"You two must have some interesting talks from up here, huh?" she said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "Don't tell Frankie," she winked at him as she inhaled and blew out the smoke.

"I won't,"

"So tell me...," Rosalie started, taking another drag. "...how long have you been in love with my grandson, Gerard?"

"What?" Gerard's eyes widened, the machine unable to match the amount of shock he'd have in his voice, had he been able to speak. "How did you know?"

"Oh, don't be so surprised. These old bones have been around the block a time or two and seen some crazy shit. I know a man in love when I see one. Doesn't Frank know?"

"I...I don't think so...,"

"So he doesn't know you love him...and now your brother likes him too. Relax, Gerard. I don't think he has liked him for very long. In fact, I would say it has been about...three or four months, at most,"

"But I've liked Frank since high school, to be honest. I always found him...so beautiful,"

"Gerard, that was almost ten years ago. Why did you never say anything?"

"Because...I've always been too scared to do so. I never knew if he'd like me back. I was afraid how he'd react if I told him. By the time I did finally get the courage to ask him...it was already too late, because I was diagnosed with this goddamn disease,"

"What does that have to do with anything, Gerard? If you liked him, you should have said something. It might have been you instead of that Ryan fellow he was with...well, not so much of a fellow anymore, is he? It is amazing what a nip and a tuck can do nowadays,"

"I know, and I regret not saying anything. Now I really don't have a chance with him...not when I'm like...this...,"

"Did you even try, Gerard? Did you even tell him?"

"I think that with how I have been with him that he should have at least taken a hint. I have kissed him before...,"

"Oh, my dear boy. I never said he didn't feel the same....well, I guess it cannot be the same if he never knew your feelings,"

"I'm such an idiot. I knew I should have said something before it was too late!"

"You still can, you know. My Frankie is not superficial, and a physical relationship has no bearing on the heart,"

"You know...you have a good point there. I still wish I could have at least had something like that with him before... well, this happened to me...,"