Almost Lover | TWD | C.G

Chapter 14 | an unusual fuse

I shook my head trying to pretend that both of them wern't talking at this moment in time. I began to walk back inside to go and lye on my bed and clear my thoughts.

'AURORA!' a voice took control of my body and jolted my feet to a sudden stop. I pivoted on my back heels to be in the face of Erika. Thank God it wasn't Daryl or Carl. 'Where you off to?' she asked with a large grin. I wish I had as much enthusiasm as her right now.

'Just going to have a lie down.' I answered stepping back slightly.

'But you just got up and havn't explored any of this place, do you not wanna come and find anything interesting in the yard?' She asked pushing my shoulder lightly, making me rock back then forward on my heels. Maybe that'll be a better way to ignore my thoughts. I sighed and walked passed her, grabbing her elbow and tugging her to follow me. She giggles, 'knew you would give in.' We walked across the field admiring everyone doing different things to help out. The yard wasn't like an average one as it looked a lot like the farm, just not with the open space and a wire fence was towering at the rims. My mind went blank as we both walked. It was quiet and peaceful, just the sound of the wet grass brushing across my boots, the wind blowing through my hair, these were the moments I loved the most.

'Hey you two wait up!' Damn. I knew it was Carl by his sketchy voice change. Oh puberty, what a wonderful gift that is. I stopped, for some reason I wanted to make him know that I knew about last night, but I din't want to tell him. There was no easy way to explain how I want this to happen, if I have to be a bitch, I will. My feelings for Carl were still not clear to myself. He was still so confusing to me, but at the same time I love the fact he is such a mystery some times. I don't know if I love him, or I hate him.

'You commin' with?' Erika asked with a giggle as I heard her catch up to me, soon followed by Carl. I looked out of the corner of me eye, I was facing the floor at this point, a habit of mine I never will grow out of, I saw him nod and smile. 'well come on!' Erika almost yells skipping into the woods. There was a cluster of fairly old oak trees, which blurred out as I looked further in and I guess we were about to find out if anything else is in there.

Carl stayed a few feet in front of me as Erika was far gone ahead. We both strolled in her direction. but I couldn't help but notice an unusual fuse being switched on inside of me that made me feel so angry and annoyed I had to explode every emotion through my mouth in the form of word vomit. I wasn't planning on that just yet, best to keep it in until I am alone or maybe even just sleep it off for God's sake. I don't know what caused the switch to turn on, but i'm going to find out how to turn it back off. We both traveled in to the woods and it was like the trees became the sky, seeping droplets of sunlight shined on my freckled arms and nose. I looked up and it was an unbelievable sight. The word was really beautiful when you look past the walkers.

'Up here!' I head Erika giggle from above. I looked towards her voice to see her hanging upside down from a tree branch. She swung there for a moment as I let a smile, not saying it was a genuine one, leave my lips as she sat up straight and slid down the tree stump. 'What are we wanna do?' She asked walking up to us, Carl still a foot or two in front.

'I don't know Erika, what can we do?' I said with a hint of sarcasm. She looked at me puzzled before I sighed loudly and shuffled my feet awkwardly.

'We could just sit around and chat?' Carl said breaking the awkward tension I just created. Erika just nodded and crouched to the floor crossing her legs as she reached the ground, Carl soon copied, followed by me, who more dramatically flopped to the ground with a thud than slowly sit down causing no scene what so ever. 'So?' Carl finally spoke.

'What?' I snapped. Erika coughed a little in surprise.

'N-nothing, are you okay Aurora?' He asked reaching his hand over to put on my back, but I shifted away.

'Rory, my name is Rory. And I am just fine thank you very much for all your concern. Why are you bothered anyway?' I said with a harsh tone.

'Aur-Rory. Why wouldn't I be bothered if you are upset or not? You can tell us anyt-' I cut him off.

'thing. I know, I know. I've heard it before. I trust you guys I really do, I just have a lot on right now.' I said calming a bit. I've got to keep it to myself. No snapping. Not this early on in the apocalypse anyway.

'Oh really, you have a lot on right now.' I heard Carl mumble. Although it wasn't even a mumble, it was more like a loud whisper.

'Say it any louder Carl. Yes I bloody know every ones got a lot going on, i'm just over thinking at the moment. I'll be over it soon.' I stated trying to calm the mood.

'Come on Aurora, we all need to let a bit of steam off, but right now isn't the time. Thing's are getting slightly better now!' He said trying to do the same as me, lifting the spirit. I stood up without thinking.

'I need to go for a bit.' I said and walked quicker than ever in the direction we came in.

'AURORA, FOR GODS SAKE!' I heard yell from where I had just stormed off from. I don't know whats up with me, seriously. I'm a mess for no reason. I can't be upset because i'm confused about my feelings for someone. I can't be angry at anything at all. I have no reasonable answer for why I could be feeling like this. Well I do, but i'm not even sure that's true yet. I started to slow my speed when I exited the woods on to the field. I felt a blockage in my throat as a tear decided to come on. I am not going to cry. I don't need to cry. Too late, I let the tears fall. Useless tears as I have no need for them. I stopped as my breathing got rapid, as anger built further up. Tears rolling down my face, I screamed out and punched the air before falling to my knees. I brought my self on to my bum and pulled my knees to under my chin as I continued to sob. 'Aurora?' I heard from behind me. I didn't answer. 'Aurora, what really is up?' The voice got closer. My anger reached a boiling point, but still I wasn't ready to snap. I stood up and wiped my eyes, I felt the lump in my throat still, my eyes were now puffy and red raw.

'How do you feel Carl? In general, your actual emotions on everything!' I yelled turning to face him.

'Me? Right now?' I nodded, 'Broken, confused, um... there isn't a word to describe my feelings.' he said with a voice crack half way through.

'You understand then.' I lowered my tone. 'There are seriously no words I can say right now that can describe my emotions, my feelings, anything. I'm broken, I'm confused. What arn't I feeling?' another tear escaped.

'You hate me I understand that.' I laughed so sarcastically I probably broke the bitch scale. I walked off towards where most of the group were, I wasn't bothered if a scene was created now or not. 'AURORA! LET ME FINISH!' Carl said catching up to me. We were in the centre of everything, every eye on us. He stood meters away, a good distance between us, but the tension was now so thick it was like a physical object I could pick up.

'WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT CARL?'' I shot back.

'I didn't finish.'