This Isn't Like Me

Chapter 8: Emotional Rollercoaster

"You ready for this?!" Emma exclaims excitedly, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the entrance gates of the fair. We buy our wristbands and then enter the bustling bazaar.

"What ride do you wanna do first?" She asks as we stop, admiring the towering rides and attractions. "I don't know, something fast!" I laugh, knowing she hates them. I've always been a bit of a thrill seeker even though most people wouldn't think so. People scare me, adrenaline doesn't. "Ugh those are scary!" She whines. "No they're not! They're fun." I state. "Ok fine let's go." She replies. We turn left and venture further into the chaos. I stay close to Emma and practice breathing at an even pace. I probably look like a giant huddled next to a dwarf. She's a whole half foot shorter than me and much stockier.

As we near the ride I've set my sights on, a tall one with lots of loops. Emma glances unsurely at the height restriction. "It's ok midget, you're tall enough." I laugh. She's always brought out my fun side. She giggles and punches me lightly in the side. "That name doesn't creep you out at all?" She asks, nodding at the sign in a spooky font, reading Haunted Boomerang. "What are you, five?" I laugh as we stop at the end of the long line. "How've you been feeling?" She asks. "I've been doing a bit better. I still miss Mr. Invicta every single day. It's still hard for me to comprehend that he's actually gone, not coming back." I reply. A sad expression comes across her face, "I'm sorry, chickadee." She says, using the nickname I only ever let her call me. "I'll be ok eventually." I shrug. "And you know I hate it when you call me that." I chuckle.

"How are you and Izzy right now?" I ask. "We're good. He's been super busy with Axl writing new songs so he hasn't had a whole lot of time for me but it's alright, I know how much this band means to him." She says cheerily. I remember when she first got with him six months ago, I knew he wouldn't just be like the other boyfriends she's had. I think he might be the one for her. His calm demeanor evens out her spastic personality.

We're finally at the front of the line, the blonde teenage girl working the ride looks at our wristbands and motions for us to get on the ride. We sit down in the front row of one of the cars. "You're an asshole for making me do this by the way." Em mutters. "I know." I say, grinning. "We'll go do kiddy rides next." I add in a mock patronizing voice. She elbows me but chuckles. The cars begin to move and she grasps my arm.

....

An exhilarated smile sits on my lips as we walk away from the 'Haunted Boomerang'. "How the fuck did you enjoy that?" Emma asks incredulously. I just chuckle. We walk to the booth near the exit of the ride. I see our picture above the counter on a screen. I start laughing, pointing at it. Emma grins too. Her face is pure terror, holding onto my arm with a death grip, her face chalk white. Me, on the other hand, I'm laughing with my unoccupied hand in the air. "How much are the pictures? I ask the guy behind the booth. "5 bucks." He replies. "I'll take two."

He prints them quickly and lays them on the counter. I hand him a 10 dollar bill and grab the pictures before walking away. I hand Emma one. "You really think I wanna relive this moment of terror for the rest of my life?" She asks. "Yeah.. I do." She shakes her head but carefully puts the Polaroid in the back pocket of her shorts. She combs through her thick brown hair as we make our way through the throngs of people.

We play bumper carts and do some other, more mild rides, play some carnival games and just have fun. I've missed days like this with her.

We walk away from a game booth, a big pink bear in Em's arms. "How's it gone, since you moved in with Slash?" She asks. "It's been really nice, Saul and I practically lived at each other's places before everything happened so it's pretty much the same thing. Moving out of my little apartment was kind of hard though, it was just mine. My safe haven, it was mine and just mine y'know?" I reply. "But it was the smart choice. There were also a lot triggers for me there and I never want to back to how I was a couple weeks ago." I add. "Yeah, I'll miss that little place, but I agree. It's what was best."