Real stories from the World - LGBTQ+

A straight ally from Indonesia

Hi!!

Well I don't know how to start my story because I'm not a writer and also English is not my first language so this is my first attempt to write the story about LQBTQ+ in my country. I hope everyone won't judge this story and maybe could be sharing your thoughts about this story. There will be a lot of pro and contra about LGBTQ+ around the world but once again, we will never know about the truth just from the cover, we need to know the story about each individual since I'm sure everyone has their own story. And this is about my story...

I was born and raised in a small country in a Southeast Asian nation, the Republic of Indonesia. Do you know where is it? It shares land borders with Papua New Guinea, East Timor, and the eastern part of Malaysia. It also a neighbor of countries like Singapore, Vietnam, the Philippines, Australia, Palau, and the Indian territory of the Andaman and Nicobar Islands (try to look it from Wikipedia). Indonesia is the most populous country in Southeast Asia and the second in Asia. That's why there are a lot of traffic jams here. We are a very ethnically and linguistically diverse country, with around 300 distinct native ethnic groups, and 742 different languages and dialects. The largest ethnic is Javanese since the capital is located in Java. Indonesia is also the most populous Muslim Majority country. Each Indonesian reserve the right to choose their religions which will be printed in our Ids. Indonesia is same as other Asian countries which still continue with our heritage and traditions, sometimes a bit ancient. But we are also allowing some of positive influences from other countries like kpop or western culture which is still shocking for some traditional people.

I was born in a traditional Chinese family, the minority ethnic in Indonesia, also the ethnic that have been hated (there is the story behind this but this post is not about ethnic but LGBTQ+). I was also born into a religious family. I was raised in a small village in Indonesia but I left to the bigger town when I was in Middle school. I was raised as the traditional individual. I mean, did you ever got told by your parents that virginity is the most important for a female? It's sounds different in countries like USA, Europe or other western countries right? I still remember how my parents told me to keep my virginity until married, or when I told them about my friend who got pregnant before marriage, they were furious. Can you imagine how is their reaction if one of their kids told them that they are in love with someone from the same gender? Actually, I'm straight or I think I am straight. I'm still not pretty sure about my sexuality because my parents never talk about this topic. Sex and sexuality is something taboo to talk about my society. We even don't really talk about something like this with our friends until probably we are more than 21 years old. People like me don't have friends or the society to solve our problem. So when you ask me about my sexuality I probably told you I'm straight, because I am interested in men, but I couldn't really make contact with boys but I still find them attractive and want to date them or marry them. I don't really feel attracted to girls but I only feel like I'm admiring them. I love watching gay lovestories and sometimes I want to be a gay guy XD. Maybe because I'm a fujoshi? Or because I think it's just really beautiful.

Being LQBTQ+ in Indonesia is something pretty hard. There are no laws which protect LQBTQ+ society. Every LQBTQ+ society in here are rejected, bullied, and also probably kicked by their families and friends. My parents and my friends are the examples. My parents are very traditional and also religious. My mom is a catholic activist and also traditional woman. She couldn't accept something unique or different. Being LGBTQ+ here means different or even weird. One day someone told my mom that she thought my sister is a lesbian (there is no legit fact or anything my sis is really innocent but just because my sister loves girl group more than boy group and she likes to read some girlxgirl stories more than girlxboy stories). My mom told me while crying about my sister. She was furious and she was being sick for almost 2 weeks. I talked with my sister and ask about her sexuality for the first time, but she told me she is not but I think she is also like me, confused about her sexuality. We were never really educated about something like this. I didn't even know about sex until I was about 21+. I also found out about it because of the power of Internet. I told my mom and reassuring her that my sister and I are straight. We just haven't met the men that we want to be married. But I tried to ask what if someone from us is really homosexual, she told me that she would probably die.

I think my mom and my friends think being homosexual is a sin which will be punished by God. There are a lot of negative things for being homosexual or being a transgender. They judged them without know any story of the individual and how about their struggles. They are just scared being judged by the societies which use religions to ignore the existences of these individuals. They are human like us. They need some comfort, some support, also some education. I read in some articles in my language about Homosexuality is the mental disorder which can be healed by medicine or by counseling. I guess this ignorance is the cause LQBTQ+ are rejected in here. We are refusing to accept every LQBTQ+ individuals with hiding behind religion which makes every LQBTQ+ individuals hide or even try to lie to themselves. When someone is choosing to stop lying, the society around them will judge them, sometimes bully, mocking them. I was also one of them before I knew about their struggles and took time to listen to their stories about their life. 

But I'm still can't be open to the public as someone that support LGBTQ+. The only thing I can do is secretly support LQBTQ+. I'm probably not one of them but I'm someone who is supporting them and also someone who is trying to get to know more about them. I like the thought that love is something that is shared between people who choose to feel it no matter their genders, their ages, their religions or their ethnics. Every human are same in front of God. Every human has their own strength and weakness. We can't judge people by their genders, sexuality, age or religion. If you are not a part of LGBTQ+ or if you don't know anything about LQBTQ+ you should just simply be quiet, don't hurt them because God is not allowing people to hurt each other. God told us to love each other right?

I hope someday people will accept the LQBTQ+ or at least give more guide to the young children who still confuse about their sexuality without being judgemental or being patronizing them. It's not wrong to choose being yourself. But it need some courage and some support from people around. 

from,  o