Real stories from the World - LGBTQ+

Zee from the U.S.

okay, well i'm not really sure how to go about this, but i'll wing it. my name is zee, i am sixteen years old from west virginia, in the US. i am a homosexual male.

growing up in a redneck state that is stereotyped as the state of incest, you learn pretty quickly that diversity is not a common term amongst the state's inhabitants. so needless to say when i took an interest in barbies and make up, rather than matchbox cars and sports, i turned a few heads. i was fortunate enough to not go through the hardcore bullying in elementary school. i mean, i had less friends than most, but that's about as far as it went. it wasn't even really aware that my differences made me a target until middle school, when i realized i was picked last in gym class, boys generally avoided me, and i was told that my clothes made me gay. it wasn't fun. i was even told at one point by another student that he was going to stab my eye out with a pencil. that was when i knew something needed to change.

so i got home that day and did what any middle schooler would do, i googled what it meant to be gay. at first, it seemed weird to me, and i mean who could blame me? i was always raised by the saying "adam and eve, not adam and steve". suddenly, as i searched deeper, i realized that i may just be gay. so i asked my mother about it, and she said she didn't agree with it, but it was no excuse to bully. this all occurred in sixth grade. so i thought i could just ignore it and it would go away. and it worked, until eighth grade.

that was when it changed. i met a boy, he really liked me. like REALLY liked me. to keep it short, he confessed his feelings, i said i wasn't gay, he said i was, i flipped out. i said some pretty harsh words, and i'll always regret the things i said, as he is one of my best friends now.

anyways, i met some more people. one girl told me she was asexual. another was bisexual, one guy explained what it meant to be an ally of the lgbt. one person, in particular, i grew close with. she was a lesbian. i came out to her. i had only told he two best friends at the time, and i told her. it was a huge deal. she was so supportive of me and it made me so happy to know i had someone new that i could actually trust. except, i couldn't trust her. she told her girlfriend. her girlfriend told everyone, and suddenly, my secret was out. i was gay. and... no one cared. i mean some people thought it was weird. but no one stopped talking to me for it.

i was so relieved. i told my friends. but, there was still a fight. i dropped the person i told and blew up on her and her girlfriend. neither are a friend to this day. but, i still should thank them, they shouldn't have done it, but without them, i might still be in the closet today. i was out an proud at high school by freshmen year and told my parents that year as well, it was rough. i'm not going to lie, my mom took some time getting used to it. my siblings were immediately supportive, and my dad tried to educate himself on our community (even though he gets the letters mixed up and calls us the glbqt sometimes, it's the thought that counts) and my mom is slowly coming around.

all and all, coming out is scary, it's no secret. and you're going to experience homophobia or transphobia no matter how accepting people are, even if it's something small or subtle, you'll notice it. i do daily, things people don't even realize they do. comparing gay men to a fairy, saying a certain lesbian is too masculine. just the little things. and people are going to ask questions because they don't understand. and it is terrifying to stand up and say "i am gay. this is me." that is unreal, but it is ultimately so worth it, because i've seen more love coming out as who i truly am than i would ever have received as someone i'm not. don't do what i did. don't lie, don't bully. don't change who you are. you are special, you are worth it, and being yourself is so hard to do, but so worth it in the end. <3