The Contract

Last Chapter

Cole's Point of View

Love. it works in mysterious ways. Some people say that you only love once, for the rest of your life. But I don't believe in that. Well, not entirely. I do believe, however, in chances. I believe that we all get a chance to do something. We get a chance to do what we want to do, think what we want to think, say what we want to say, and love who we want to love.

I never expected to love more than once. But I took my chance. I was given the chance to love the most amazing girls I have ever met in my whole life. I've been with them, and shared moments with them.

But there was this one.

This one girl that spectacularly stood out from every girl I've dated. She thought me how to be myself more. She thought me so many things, which is ironic because at first I thought she was mostly clueless of everything. But that's what made her so special.

She gave me a chance.

She gave me a chance to love her. She gave me a chance to prove to her what kind of person I can be. That I am more than just a facade that other people see. She gave me love like no other. And I will always remember that. I will always keep her in my heart.

So, Jean Tyler, wherever you may be, know that I will always love you. My heart is yours to keep, and to break. Even if you are no longer here with me physically, even if you are somewhere I know is unreachable, I will be here. I may have moved on, as hard at it is, but I will never forget.

Jean, you have showed me an entirely new world. You opened my eyes and my heart to new things. Because of you, I am the man I am today. My heart will always beat for you, no matter what. You have given me a different kind of adventure. One that I will always keep in mind. But if I manage to forget, I will do everything I can to remember. You are definitely something else, you are different but in a good way.

But most importantly, I hope that in that amount of time we were together, I hope I made you happy. I hope I was able to make an impact in your life, just as much as you did to mine.

I love you, Jean. I always will. And I don't think I will ever stop.

-

Nostalgia hits me hard like a bus when I walk through the park of my old town. Just recently, I had flown back from New York to be able to breathe for awhile.

It's been a year since I have last been here. And in one year, a lot has changed. Some establishments are gone, old building replaced with new ones. Even the park has changed a little bit. Kids no longer ran around here like they used to. It just seemed a little bit more quiet. And, most importantly, there are some people that were here a year ago, that aren't here now.

But some things never change. There was this part at the town's park that only I and one other person knew about. Just in between two bushes was a small clearing that leads to what seems like an entirely different world. I go into my special, and secret place. Everything looks the same. The small area still over looked the lake.

I sit down on the grass. The last time I had been here was with you. On that very day I had told you that I had liked you. On that very day, the contract that had started it all, ended. I looked at the spot where you sat. I stared and felt my heart break again, for the nth time.

It hurt. It fucking hurts that you aren't here with me. That you won't ever be with me.

Still, something tells me that you're here with me right now. Sometimes out of nowhere I would feel warm inside. The feeling I would get in your embrace. Or get a whiff of your scent. Maybe because of how much I miss you.

From my pocket, I take out a ring. I stared at its cold, small diamond. It was simple but worth many. It was the ring you'd said you wanted on one of our dates. One of last days we had together.

I remember you telling me that if the time came and I still wanted to be yours, that was the ring you wanted to see when I, "get down on one knee."

I get up, looked at the lake one last time, and threw it in the water.

Today is the day I start to accept that you're gone.

I take a breath and take one last look at our secret place, for the last time.

I make my way out and start walking towards the exit of the park when I had suddenly seen a familiar face. A face too special to forget.

"Emily" I say, eyes wide. She looked more mature than she was a year ago. The last time I saw her was at Jean's funeral. She looks just as surprised as I am.

"C-cole?" Her tone had a hint of disbelief. Like she was surprised and worried to see me at the same time. "You're back" she says.

"I am" I say "But I'm not here for long. Just visiting"

Emily nods and purses her lips. Tears brimming in her eyes. "It's good to see you again, Cole." Her voice broke. The tears now streaming down her eyes. I had also felt tears starting to form in my own as well. I walk closer to her and give her a hug to which she hugged back tightly. Emily was sobbing at this point. It had been hard for the both of us probably the most. I actually felt bad for leaving Emily all alone in this small city. Atleast I had many distractions in New York, but Emily, she probably had to relive their memories everywhere she looked, every single day.

We sat down in one of the park benches. It was quiet for awhile until she decided to speak up first.

"You know she was supposed to tell you after you guys had gone to your grandparents' place" Emily said "it's just - it's just her sickness..." She trailed off from trying to hold back her tears. I grab Emily's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I just miss her so much." She said in betweed sobs "That idiot, I warned her to be more careful."

I didn't know what to say. I wish I had known what was going on with Jean. I wish I could have taken care of her. I wish I could have done something. Anything. But would that have made a difference? Would that have kept her alive?

"We both would have done everything we could for Jean." I said "It's just, what she had, her sickness, beat us to it. I just wish I could have been there with her while she was literally hurting inside,  helped her make the pain more bearable." I went on "God, I can only imagine what she went through." The memory hurt like a fresh wound. It was the first time I had said these things aloud. The only time I had actually, genuinely mourned Jean's death. When I left for New York I was too hurt to process what had happened and too scared to accept the fact that she was gone. But now that I have Emily, someone who actually understands what I am going through. No, Emily is someone who is going through exactly what I am going through.

"It's just so hard" Emily starts again, "Sometimes I wake up and I want to believe that she's still here"

"It is" I said, "It took all of me to come back here. It's hard coming back to a place that no longer feels like home."

Emily nods, "-Even harder to live in a world where Jean no longer exists"

I feel a tear fall down my cheek, I take a deep breath and nod.

It really is.

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