Two Way Mirror (Beatles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 12

As much as I tried to ignore the fact that Nick was in the same restaurant as I was, I couldn’t.  The fact that he had brought Margaret here made me so angry.  We had never come to a fancy place like this while we dated because he could “never afford it”, yet after only months of having broken off the wedding, he had brought another woman here. 

As we got back to the table, I noticed nobody else had really noticed my absence.  It became obvious to me that only John had kept tabs on me while I was away and he had gone looking for me.  I couldn’t help but feel grateful to him for having done that.  Standing in front of Nick and his new girl had brought out all my insecurities, all the emotional baggage I thought I had stowed away.  It was a miracle I had not broken down…

John tried to take my mind off of it by pushing drinks my way.  Apparently, that was his way of trying to get me to cope with what had just happened, but I knew myself better.  I did accept a few drinks, but I cut myself off intentionally.  Getting drunk while upset didn’t exactly serve as a pick me up, instead it let me get in touch with my feelings and I ended up being a sorrowful mess.  However, a few drinks did help me to relax and lose a little inhibition.  As I talked and joked with the guys, I started to feel better, but in the back of my mind, I kept reliving that episode with Nick and Margaret.  Whenever John saw me become too pensive, he quickly directed the conversation to me and I’d have everyone teasing and joking with me.  I can’t say I had the best night of my life that night, but John did have a way to help me handle the situation at hand gracefully.

When we finally left the restaurant, I tried to look around to see if Nick was still there…discretely of course, but John was apparently keeping a close eye on me because as we walked out he leaned into my ear and whispered:

“He already left, luv.”

“What do you mean?” I asked trying to sound like I had no idea what he was talking about.

He looked at me knowingly, but didn’t say another word about it. “C’mon now…” he said as he moved me in front of him and slightly let his hand brush the small of my back.

Back in the hotel, John pulled me aside to see if I would be okay.

“You alright Emma?”

“Yes…I’m fine.”

“I’ve heard that before.” John retorted.

“No, really…I just need to get some rest.  Everything is okay…it was just the initial shock of seeing him…that’s all.” I lied.

I could tell John didn’t believe me, but he wasn’t pushing the issue.

“Alright…but if you need anything, you know where to find me.” He said as he walked me to my room.

“Sure…but I’m just going to go straight to bed…” I continued as we reached the door.

“You do that…I’ll see you tomorrow then.  Have a good night.” He said as he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

“You too.” I stammered.   

As I got into bed that night, I couldn’t help but think.  Think about everything.  I had thought I was over Nick but seeing him today with another woman…well that just brought back all the emotions I had tried to convince myself were gone.  I suppose it is hard to just throw out the feelings one has for another person even if they did hurt you.  I couldn’t lie to myself-I still had feeling for Nick-what those feelings were I wasn’t sure.  Part of me was so angry at him; the other part was hurt and sad.  Part of me wanted to beat him for causing me so much pain and another part wanted to ask WHY?  What had I done wrong?  What was I lacking to keep him wanting me?