Two Way Mirror (Beatles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 14

I didn’t bother looking at anyone as I made my way to the front door, even though I knew everyone was staring at me.  I was so angry with John!  The nerve of him!  To treat me like that in front of everyone, then get upset because I didn’t want to talk to him while he was drunk and THEN kiss me against my will! 

I walked out of the apartment and just wanted to get as far as I could from there.  I didn’t want to see John and I definitely didn’t want to see anybody from the party.  I was so embarrassed by what John had done to me.  He was usually so caring and endearing.  I knew he had a bad temper and everyone always warned me to stay clear of John when he was in a foul mood, but I hadn’t done anything to him.  Not only that, but he was in a good mood…or what seemed to be a good mood at the party…this attitude was directed only at me and I didn’t understand why. 

It was late and the only thing opened were a few bars along the main street of the city.  I wasn’t too keen on going in this late by myself, but I didn’t really have any other choice.  I wasn’t about to go back to the apartment and it was dark out and I didn’t know the city very well. 

I chose a bar that was a bit empty as opposed to the very crowded ones.  There were two bartenders and about 4 tables occupied.  I walked in and sat at a corner.  The older of the two bartenders came to greet me.  He was a nice man who did not speak one word of English, but was very nice in trying to help me with my faulty Spanish.  He brought me my drink a few minutes later and left me alone with my thoughts. 

A whirlwind of thoughts raced through my mind.  I didn’t understand John’s attitude towards me.  Everything had changed since that day at the beach…since he and I had shared that intimacy.  That must have been the cause of all of this.  Was it because I didn’t respond the way he had thought?  I mean how was I supposed to respond?  He was married and had a family!  What was I going to do?  Throw myself at him?  I had to admit, the situation we had found ourselves in was one of dangerous proportions.  Would I have been able to stop had he not ended it? 

Then there was tonight’s kiss.  Yes, definitely not what I wished a first kiss with John Lennon would have been like, but he had kissed me regardless…that in itself left us in treacherous waters too!  Yes he was drunk and alcohol does make for a nice alibi as to why someone does something, but there was something behind that kiss.  It was as if he wanted to prove something.  He had done it right after I accused him of ignoring me and not wanting to spend any time with me.

Despite my anger towards John, I found myself thinking of the kiss…I found myself wondering what it would be like to kiss John again…not forcefully like he had done earlier, but just passionately.  I quickly stopped myself, knowing those thoughts shouldn’t even be crossing my mind.   Not only because John had been a right jerk, but because I shouldn’t be contemplating the idea of being with him…

After a few drinks, I decided it was time to go. There was no use prolonging this anymore. It was late, I was tired and still upset with John...now more than ever...not only had he embarrassed me, but because of it I had left the apartment, hung about here-alone again-for most of the night and now had to go back and face a most awkward encounter with him.

"Let's get this over with." I said as I gulped down the last of my drink and left what I owed on the table. 

I don't know what I was expecting when I got back...maybe a little remorse on John's part, but instead I found him passed out on the couch with a half empty glass of scotch in his limp hand. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes. 

"Should have guessed." I said as I took the glass from John's hand and put it on the coffee table. The fact that my absence hadn't even provoked a bit of worry in John was the last straw. He didn't care that I was upset and had left and hadn't come back until dawn...no he didn't care at all.