{irreplaceable}

06

we're not lovers.

we're strangers with memories.

I tip toe into the Gryffindor common room at 10 to midnight. I sit down and twirl my wand through my fingers. I'm nervous, cause Sirius is never serious. Bad pun, but actually. He's never serious about something, let alone in secret. I hear soft footsteps down the stairs, and see Sirius walk down the stairs. His eyes light up when he spies me in the corner. "I didn't know if you were going to show up." He says, sitting down next to me. "Of course." I say, turning and facing him. "What did you need to talk about?" I ask. He looks at the floor, and again, seems to deflate.

"Are you in love with my brother?"

I suck in a breath. "Excuse me?" I say, not believing my own ears. "Regulas. Are you in love with him?" I stare into fire, reflections of the flames dancing on my eyes. "I've never even spoken to your brother." I confess. His whole demeanor changes. He relaxes, and leans back into the couch. "Why?" I ask. "No reason." He says quickly. I roll my eyes. "No reason my ass. Why did you make me meet you in secret, in the middle of the night, just to ask me if I'm in love with your brother?" He sighs. "Reg.... his Patronus is a lion too. I just thought, maybe because they matched...." I exhale. "Well, no. I'm not in love with your brother." He shoves my shoulder and ruffles my hair. "Good." I'm about to ask him why it was such a big deal if I liked his brother, but I cut myself off. I don't want to push it. I look at him, grinning. He looks at me. "What are you thinking?" He says, groaning. I jump up and pull him up as well. "Where are we going?" He says, eyeing me. "Well, I am short on caldron cakes....." I trail off, and Sirius smiles mischievously. "Well than what are we waiting for?" We run out the door and into the corridor.

****

Despite the late time of night, Hogsmeade is buzzing with customers. Three Broomsticks is bright and noisy, and I look at Sirius as we walk through the shops. "Want to get a butter beer?" He asks. I frown. "Won't Rosemerta tell? We aren't really supposed to be here." Sirius grins and shrugs. "She's an old friend." He holds the door open and I walk in. I freeze.

In plain sight, Noah is here. My muggle boyfriend, Noah.

Kissing another girl.

My Noah. Kissing someone else. She's much prettier than me, skinnier than me, her hair is longer than mine. Her curves are more defined, her butt and boobs are much larger than mine.

She's not me, but now I realize Noah's not mine.

Sirius walks next to me. "Ah Merlin." He says softly.

A tear rolls down my face. I wipe it away angrily, and my hands are shaking. I walk over there, and point my wand at them. A burst of light separates the two people. "What the hell, dude-" He starts, but then realizes it's me. He has a lipstick stain on his collarbone. "Ah, shit." He says. "Ah, shit is right." I whisper, pointing my wand at him. "You go to Hogwarts? I thought you were a Muggle." he says, disbelief on his face. He brings out his wand. "Apparently, so did I." Sirius steps next to me, disarming him. "Don't point that at her." He growls. "Who's this?" He asks, stepping towards Sirius. "You been cheatin' ?" Noah growls. I roll my eyes, and step in between them. "No, this is my best friend. But obviously, you have." I say softly. Tears flow freely down my face. "How could you?" I whisper. He tries to come up with an excuse. "Don't even try. You're fluent in lies, excuses, and bullshit." I spit, and behind me Sirius whistles. "Nice one." "I loved you." I say, stepping towards him.

"I loved you. God dammit, I STILL love you, because I thought you loved me back. I thought we were gonna last. I thought you had more then ONE OUNCE of loyalty in you, but I guess I was wrong." I shake my head. "I thought we loved each other." He looks guilty. "Oh come on, Ky! You know how it is! Don't tell me you haven't been tempted, at least once, to hook up with a guy? You were away at school, I was girlfriend less for 6 months..." He trails off. "No, I wasn't tempted, because I thought I had a boyfriend who loved me." I say. "Come on, you're making this seem so complicated!" He yells, smashing his glass on the table. "IT'S NOT COMPLICATED. IT'S REALLY NOT. I WOULD SHOW YOU HOW EASY IT WOULD BE, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. IT SHOULD BE HARD, IT SHOULD FILL YOU WILL GUILT IF YOU EVEN LOOKED AT ANOTHER GIRL, BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE COMMITTED TO ME. I UNDERSTAND NOW THAT YOU WEREN'T QUITE CLEAR ON THE RULES. BUT, APPARENTLY, IN YOUR BOOK, WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS AWAY AT SCHOOL, IT'S OKAY TO CHEAT." I scream. He cracks.