When October Goes

Chapter 1

Today, my happy, Logan-free bubble popped.  I knew Richard would want to know, one day, the identity of his father.  Logan was the person of whom we never spoke.  He wasn't mentioned by me or anyone else for that matter.  Now that he was an adult, I felt as if I couldn't keep the secret anymore.

"Mom, we need to talk," Richard said in a no-nonsense tone.

"About what?"

"I want to know my dad.  I'm eighteen now, and I think I have a right to know," he replied.

"Oh," I said and my face fell.  "I had always hoped this day would never come, but here it is.  You've certainly got the Gilmore curiosity.  Whether it's the hunger for knowledge or the quest for information unknown, it's in your genes."

There was a rock at the bottom of my stomach that had suddenly become the biggest boulder imaginable.  Crap!  What am I going to tell him?  That his dad is media mogul Logan Huntzberger?  And what happens when he decides to find him?  Paternity tests?  Yelling? I thought.  I didn't know if I could face him after keeping something like this from him.  The fact of the matter was I wasn't sure I wanted to face him.

Richard stared at me, waiting for the answer to satisfy his needs.  I knew if I put this off, it would become a point of contention between us.  I didn't want to ruin our relationship.

"Well?  Who is he?" he asked impatiently.  "If you don't tell me, I'll find out for myself.  I know where you keep your journals in the attic."

I let out a chuckle.  "Funny, that's how Aunt April found out Papa Luke was her dad.  She read through her mom's diaries and letters.  She figured it was one of three guys and did her own DNA test for a science fair project," I replied as I'd recalled the awkward situation Luke faced many years ago.

"So, you're saying it could be three different guys?  Mom, that's gross!"

"That's not what I'm saying at all," I said adamantly.  "It was definitely only one guy."

"Just spill already, Mom!  I'm not getting any younger here," he replied with an anxious smile.

I couldn't help but smile thinking back to the times I'd shared with Logan.  Here I was with a permanent reminder of him.  Every time I looked at Richard's face, I saw Logan.  His smile went on for days and made his eyes crinkle.  The only difference was he had blue eyes, like mine, not brown like Logan's.  His dirty blonde hair was always perfectly messy, just like his dad's.  Crap!  I need to get out of this Logan rabbit hole, I thought.  I took a deep breath and answered him. 

"Fine, but promise me you'll let me help you in all of this.  It might not be the best idea to randomly show up on his doorstep like Buddy the Elf!" I referenced his favorite Christmas movie.  He'd watched it over and over and was completely hooked thanks to Dad.  No other Christmas movie compared in his book.

"Ok, ok, I promise!  The suspense is killing me!  I've been waiting a very long time for this, Mom," he pleaded.

"I know you have, dear, but when you hear it, I hope you'll understand my reasoning for keeping it from you......and him."

"He doesn't know I exist?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, I couldn't bring myself to tell him, and I wanted him to go ahead and live his life.....without us.  He was set to live a very different life from the one we know.  His family had been very clear that I was not fit to be a part of his preordained life.  I didn't want to complicate things for him after we said our goodbyes almost nineteen years ago," I replied.  God, now I'm rambling to my own son!  He's not Logan, Rory, I thought.