Double Jinx (Wattys2017)

Chapter 37

Crossing over is a strange phenomena.

I can't fully explain it to one who has never felt it because the experience is beyond mortal words. I remembered laying in Ace's arms, staring up at him, then I remember floating. Aimlessly, going nowhere in particular. It was dark and cold and void but ... tranquil. There was no more pain, no more sadness. All remnants of life's flaws were long since forgotten, replaced by some unfathomable directory from the universe itself. Limitless, yet limited.

A strange phenomena indeed but one that felt old, aged by eternities. A phenomena we all faced sooner or later, a phenomena I just so happened to be facing sooner rather than later. But still I didn't fear it, I could only embrace it as we all must.

But as soon as it all happened ... it changed.

I wasn't floating, I wasn't tranquil.

I was standing in a white room, floored only by white, cloud-like smoke with no indication of an actual floor beneath me. The walls faded into the ceiling which appeared to stretch on forever. There were no corners or edges, no end. Everything was fuzzy, my eyes couldn't adjust. Just a white room with a woman standing in the middle.

She faced away from me. A sleek white dress hung from slender shoulders and disappeared into the smoke like the curtain of a waterfall. Although the woman faced away from me, I recognized the golden blonde hair so similar to my brother's. And the rosy birthmark stationed just below her shoulder blade was a clear indication as to who this woman was.

"Mom?" I asked. My voice was ridiculously loud in this room where silence was so absolute. No other sounds resonated, not a single breath.

Not even mine for there were none.

A moment later the woman turned and I saw that she was indeed my mother. Or at least, what I remembered my mother to look like. The funeral left her pale with no color in her hollow cheeks. Her hair, though styled the same, was flatter. Dull. As were her eyes which looked upon me now with such affection that I could almost claim they weren't hers.

But they were.

"Oh honey ..." She spoke quietly, soft as air. She moved towards me, nearly gliding over the ground. Then her arms were around me in a surprisingly real hug. She petted my hair as she did in life, "I've missed you so much ... but I never wanted a reunion like this."

Sadness climbed up my throat but didn't come forth as I wrapped my arms tightly around her as well. She smelled the same as she always has, not at all like she did during the funeral. The room had smelled so strongly of death that it masked the warm aroma of her daily perfume. But I could smell it now, and it brought warmth to my cold heart. We held each other for a long time, neither of us speaking or moving.

Neither of us breathing.

Then she pulled back and placed both hands on my cheeks, her hand were cold. She smiled at me, I remembered that smile. Memories flashed quite vividly from Sunday mornings when she made Jason and I pancakes, from late evenings when I would get home after a long day at the speech therapist. A smile that marked many fond memories.

But why were they so vivid? So real?

"Where am I?" I kept my voice down this time, afraid to bother the silent presence in this room even though no other figures were present.

My mom gave a small shrug, "I can't say for sure, I don't think anyone really knows. But I've been here for a while, watching."

My ears perked at that, "Watching?"

She nodded, that smile blooming once more, "Of course. I've been watching over you since the day I left ... where do you think all the candles came from?"