craving - n.j.h

twenty three

After a long night of sleep in the backseat of Niall's car, with merely my sweatshirt to cover myself with I pulled up onto Niall's driveway. I stepped out of my what I hope is only my temporary place to sleep - Niall's car - taking a deep breath. I'm so, terribly exhausted, it's like I can't keep my eyes open. But then again, lately i've always been finding myself terribly exhausted. I grabbed my almost empty bag, made my way up to the front door and rapped my knuckles against the hard wood of the door. It took a little while before anyone opened the door, but once it did, a lean, red haired guy appeared in front of me. It's that guy from the party.

"It's you again!" He smiled bright and let me inside, shutting the door behind me.

"Yeah, it's me. Nice to see you again." I shot him a weak smile as I walked inside, the frat house feeling very familiar. I am kind of used to it smelling like male colonge and a faint hint of beer after spending a couple of nights here. Luckily, the smell doesn't bother me because I don't live here. I don't live aywhere, I'm homeless.

"Niall, I believe you have a visitor!" The redhead called out, mimicking a mother.

Niall appeared in the hall, his face breaking into a smile as his eyes meet mine. The red haired guy gave him a funny look and chuckled.

"I'll leave you two.. love birds alone." He chuckled and bowed - still attampting to sound like a mother - before exiting the room.

"Get lost, will you?" Niall groaned as a frown took over his features, his bright smile disappearing in less than a second.

"You're back." Niall stated with a plain face, putting his hands into the pockets of his jeans and leaning up against the wall. I he thought looked extremely hot, just wearing a plain t-shirt with all of his tattoos showing, standing there, leaning up against the wall. I figure he does that a lot.

Extremely hot. I shouldn't think of him in this way, he's just my.. friend; And I don't want anything to do with guys after what Jason did to me. I'm scared of falling for him, what if.. I don't even have the guts to think about what Niall could possibly attempt to do to me. I'm scared.

"Yeah.." I mumbled, looking away from the very alluring punk guy that is Niall.

"I heard you met Harry last night." Niall spoke and turned around, walking towards the staircase, expecting me to follow. The memories of mine and Harry's enconter popped into my head, remembering what he told me.

"I certainly did." I said, following him up the stairs. We walked into his bedroom and I gave my self permission to sit down on the bed. "He said you told him that you 'took me home' that night of the party. What's that about?"

"What?" His head snapped up and his eyes locked on my figure.

"You heard me, Niall. Why'd you tell him that?" I took a sharp breath and raked my fingers through my extremely messy and tangled hair. I probably look even worse than the last time I sat in this bed after waking up.

"That's complete bullshit. I didn't tell him anything." Niall spat and furrowed his eyebrows.

"If you didn't tell him, who did?"

"How the fuck should I know?" He spoke harshly, dramatically throwing his hands up in the air. I rolled my eyes and sighed in frustration. Why does he have to be so childish?

"So Harry's lying?" I questioned, pulling my legs closer to my body, resting up against the pillows in his unmade bed where I woke up only one day ago.

"Maybe he is? 'Hell do I know." He plopped down on the chair next to his desk and ran his hand through his hair. He looked so handso- Fuck. Stop it, Ella. I wanted to smack myself in the face. He is just my firend, i'm not falling for him, he's a douche. Or is he, really?

"Niall, you.. I-" I started, but can't seem to think straight. I can't think straight, my mind does not seem to want to cooperate, I felt delusional. I feel like somehow I am always exhausted, maybe it's because of everything happening around me; Jason, Niall, my mother, being homeless.. My mind is always racing.

I took a deep breath and stared out the window, my eyes focused on the tiresome, grey coulds floating across the big, indelicate sky. Everything is so strange and complicated - I wish things would be just a bit more easygoing, but that is a very foolish wish. Things won't get easier, it's real life.

"What's wrong?" Niall's blue eyes focused on me. His rumbling voice pulled me back into reality and my head snapped to where he sat, his clear blue eyes meeting mine.

"Oh," I said, confused. "Nothing."

"Oh come on Ella, something's certainly wrong when you tell me it's nothing." Niall arched his brow at me.

"Well to answer your question, everything's wrong, - my mother, you, Jason, and I had a home until just recently. Everything's quite wicked, and I don't know what i'm supposed to do." I sighed, souding like I was about to give up. And that's what I feel like i'm, eventually, going to do.

"Wait, you moved out?" He asked.

"Sort of. My mother kicked me out."

"Seems like fun. You wanted to move out anyway, didn't you?" Niall spoke sarcastically as he shot me a smug smile. I just rolled my eyes and kept quiet. Of course he's a douche, he has always been one.

But a goddamn attractive one, my subconscious added.

"Seriously, Niall.." I tried to hold back a chuckle. I don't know if I was laughing because of his stupidity, or because I found him amusing.

A goddamn attractive douche. Finally i've found words to describe him. I could call him loads of other things such as an alluring asshole, a captivating prick, or maybe a seductive moron, I have not decided quite yet.

"Where are you going to go now?" Niall asked.

"Well, I came here to drop off your car, and I figured maybe I could stay at a hotel until i've figured out where to go."

"You could stay here at the frat, if you'd like. There is a spare room where you could stay; I don't think you should stay all alone."

"No, I mean, I'm better off at the hotel, i'll be fine." I shot him - what I hoped like was - and assuring smile, but curving my lips at him did not seem to convince him.

"So, how are you supposed to get to the hotel, then?"

"I, I could walk." I stammered.

Niall sighed and his lips curved into a small smirk. "See what I mean? You haven't got a car, Ella. Make it easy for yourself."

Easy. That's what I wished for a couple of minutes ago: for things to be just a bit more easygoing.

"Great. I'm staying here then."

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*not spellchecked yet*

hiiiii long time no see huh?

anywhoooo, here's the update!

& i wanted to thank you guys for always supporting me and my writing, your comments keep me motivated xx have a great week!