His Bleeding Heart k.a.

Chapter 8

"You good over there?"

"Oh, yes. I'm good. I'm just really happy." I smile brightly. "I don't have to pee or anything, that's not why I'm shaking." I add on.

"You looked nervous with all that jumping." He looks me up and down then smiles. That smile could kill me.

"I ammmmmm." I draw out and lean forward in my seat. "These are tinted windows?"

"Mhm."

"I love these! Kevin has them in one of his cars." Well Kevin doesn't have a limo, but he has a Jeep, and-

"You talk about him a lot, huh?" Russ dryly laughs and slowly nods. "By the end of tonight though, I'ma have you forget his name." Woah, woah, woah there.....woah. I don't even know how to respond. I don't say anything, and stare out the window. I feel a hand on my thigh, and breathing on my neck.

"What are you doing?" I turn around to find him smirking. Straight face, straight face, str- aw fuck. I can't stop smiling!

"Nothing. Just looking." He starts to take in my features and so do I. Our faces are inches apart. "Those lips...." He breathes. As much as I want to kiss him right then and there, Kevin keeps ringing in my mind. I scoot away, taking a deep breathe.

"You're.....overwhelming."

"Overwhelming, intimidating, blunt, all been told before." He leans back and shrugs.

"I've been called the same, but I'm pretty sure the vibes I got were worse." I laugh. "I bet they told you in an admirable way, like they wanted to be like you." He turns his head side to side.

"Eh. Little bit of both. I'm surprised you get any negative attention at all. You're perfect." I clear my throat, but can't help but smile.

"Well I do, like every other person does."

"You saying that like you aren't special."

"Well you probably talk to every girl like this, so that makes me not special." He's starting to sound like all the other guys. The two Fs: Flatter then Fuck.

"Ok, I'll give you that." He nods. "I'll still call you beautiful though." I playfully roll my eyes and stare out the window.

|° • ° • ° • ° • ° • °|

"This is where the magic happens." He opens the door to his little studio.

"This is nice." I sit in one of his chairs. "And comfortable." I snuggle back into the seat.

"You're gonna be my muse." He spins in his chair.

"Your muse?"

"My next song is going to be about you."

"Oh."

"Just oh, huh?" He dryly laughs. I sit up in the chair a little.

"Did you want a yippee?" I throw my arms up in fists. Awkward? Kinda? Eh.

"Tell me about yourself." He rolls behind his desk, and props himself up with his arms. Kinda just ignored me, but ok. Whatever, that's fine.

"Ok well my name is Siaani. I'm twenty-five. I have two sisters, Arcadia and Pau-"

"Nah, nah, nah," He closes his eyes then crosses his arms. "you can't be all surface. You gotta be deep with yourself. You know what I mean?" When I don't reply he opens his eyes. "Alright, I'm gonna ask you questions and you gotta answer honestly. Good?"

"Ok, got it."

"What would you do, if Kevin stopped loving you tomorrow?" He starts to write some things down. Wow ok, hm. What would I do?

"Well I'm assuming he'd kick me out his house. Well break up with me first of course. I guess we'd have some type of conversation-"

"Siaaniiiiii." He slides down a little, then looks up at me. "What would you do? Not anyone else. You." I take a minute to think about it.

"Ok one hundred percent honest. I'd be confused. I wouldn't know exactly what I did wrong. Then I'd cry because I don't really have anything without him. Everything I ever wanted was given to me because of him."

"Continue." He has a determined look.

"I'd go to the next support I know, my family. I'd cry about it for weeks." I sigh. I never even thought about that. It's been so great in the present, I don't get caught up in the future.

"What makes Kevin so great? Why can't you just move on to the next best thing per-say, me?" He winks. "I'm just playing, but go ahead."

"I just can't see anything getting better, you know. This is literally all I ever wanted."

"More about Kevin."

"He's just perfect. He doesn't judge me, which is the best thing ever. I can just be myself around him without worrying or being self-cautious. He's always listening, and I never feel ignored. He makes my mistakes ok and even though I already feel guilty, he doesn't continue to press on it. He accepts me." Russ writes down a bunch of notes.

"Now, name the most prevalent word in your passed relationships?"

"Stop."

"Elaborate."

"Well it was always me doing something wrong, or annoying. I never really got praised for anything, it was always some kind of scolding, like I was a dog or something." I lightly laugh.

"Give me some examples."

"I'll be like, 'hey guess what?', and I'd be ignored, of course. I start talking about my day and they say 'stop, I'm trying to do something right now' or 'just stop talking'. Or I'll be excited about something and they'll tell me to stop embarrassing them. That's the gist." I shrug. He takes down more notes.

"So why did they stay with you? What were they there for?"

"Just.... physical..stuff." I mumble.

"So your looks?" I nod. "And...?"

"You know...." I start to kick my feet and look down.

"They took advantage of you." He slowly nods and writes more. "Was there ever making love?" I shake my head no. "Are you ok with answering these? You're not gonna...cry, are you?" He just had to say it. I feel my eyes tearing up and my throat get tight. I swallow the huge lump in my throat.

"I'm good." I shake it off.

"I think I got what I need."

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. The next one is going to be as normally long as they usually are.