His Bleeding Heart k.a.

Chapter 12

"Siaani." Devin knocks on the door and invites himself in. "Whatcha' up to?" He sits next to me.

"Thinking." I sniffle. He rubs my back in an attempt to comfort me.

"Don't worry about it. Kevin doesn't deserve you if he's acting like this."

"Daniel called." I ignore his repetitive comment.

"Really? About Kevin?" I nod my head. "What did he say?"

"He wasn't upset with Kevin. He was mad at me."

"Are you serious?" He asks, shocked. I sit up.

"He said he knew it all along, that I was just like his exes, using him. Since Kevin's not mad, that he's gonna be mad for him. He said he's glad that Kevin finally stopped putting up with stuff like this. He said he's happy that I kissed you because now Kevin is done with being used." I recite, the memory being fresh in my brain.

"Damn, h-"

"You know," I turn to look him in the eyes. "if you hadn't kissed me-"

"Oh, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Don't blame this shit on me now." He dryly laughs.

"It's true though. If you never had, Kevin wouldn't lose his last straw. He shouldn't have because I'm not like that." I say the last part aloud, but mainly for myself.

"Don't act all clueless now. I know Kevin told you about me. You're acting like I wouldn't have fucked you and dipped." Ouch.

"So it's my fault for having hope in you?"

"Damn right." He laughs. "Your naive ass should have listened to your little hubby."

"Why the hell are you still here?" I raise my voice.

"After Kevin started acting up, I put myself next in line."

"You're such an asshole!"

"Surprise." He sarcastically grins and laughs at my reaction. "Aye, if you want some good dick, I gave you my number."

"Get the fuck out." I say through gritted teeth. He raises his hands in defense, amused by the situation, and backs out. He never even cared. I wish I could be surprised I fell for that. I wish I never met him. Ugh, I hate him so much!

I threw a pillow and it hit the dresser, knocking down a book. I walked over and picked it up, realizing it's an album. I go back to the bed to look through it. The front said my name in pretty cursive writing. There were tons of pictures of me on holidays and birthdays.

On the last Valentine's Day, I was holding a huge teddy bear and a big box of chocolates. For my twenty-third birthday, I had a bunch of shopping bags. Christmas, I was surrounded by dozens of presents. As I looked through the pictures, it felt as if the memories stuck with me.

Kevin must have one too. I look around the dresser but don't find anything. I looked behind the dresser and there it was. It must have fallen back here. There were nearly not as many pictures as mine had.

On his last birthday, he had a cheap looking cake. On Valentine's Day, he got a friendship bracelet. This must be all the gifts we gave each other. Kevin.....didn't have much compared to me, and what he did have wasn't anything compared to mine.

Maybe all I do have to give is my body. I never even gave anything else. This is my fault, and I think I can accept that. I ruined the one good thing coming for me. This was all I finally had and I just threw it away, getting lost in all the material things.

I got my dream life. I guess it was my job to keep it, and I failed. The tears stopped falling. I stopped self-pitying and accepted the fact that I brought this onto myself. I crawl over the bed and reach for the flower. You're the only thing I have left from all of this.