River & Colt [Completed]

2. After

Unedited
2. Twenty-One
River
I never thought I'd be back here.

My college dorm room was home to me. That feeling of warmth when you enter like a towel straight from the dryer. I never felt at home in that little town where everyone knew everything.

But I'm turning back onto Main Street and heading towards the dingy yellow house that held all my firsts. And I'm not looking forward to it. I didn't want to be this person. I wanted to be stronger and grow and be something.

I didn't want to turn into another girl who decides she can't make it in the real world and comes home defeated and unsure. That isn't me.

That's the River that lived here three years ago. The one that was scared of her shadow and who thought dreams were too scary and it was easier just being.

Living is hard.

Money is hard. That's why I'm parking in the main parking lot, paying the meter, and heading towards the diner where I spent most of my time in as a teenager for a job. At least it saves me from going that house for a bit longer.

The window is decorated with summer flowers in bright paint and an old Now Hiring sign is stuck on the door. At least one thing might work out.

The bell jingles when I enter and the smell of burnt coffee and sweet maple syrup assault my senses. Maybe this is what home feels like. Maybe I'm still unsure of what a home is.

"River? Is that you?" Miss. Mary says from where she is perched pouring coffee into a man who has more wrinkles than an English Bulldog's mug.

I take a moment to look around. To try to remember what it felt like to feel as if I belonged. Late nights full of soda and french fries here in this diner. Where we used to drive the waitresses crazy but they would smile knowingly because they used to be us.

I wait for the feeling of belonging to settle into my bones but it never comes.

"It is," I say shrugging and doing a little twirl. This makes Mary laugh and she heads write over to me. Wraps me in a big hug, I breathe in her familiar scent. Flowers and the cafe.

"What do I owe this pleasure?" Mary says in a fake southern accent batting her eyelashes. I laugh and nudge her shoulder with mine. Mary has been like a second mother to me all these years. She is the first person I told when I failed a math test in tenth grade and who I called when I got arrested all those years ago.

"I need a job," I say nodding towards the sign in the window.

"Vi, you want to work here? What about school?"

I shake my head, "I'm taking a bit of a break. I need to reevaluate."

"Reevaluate," Miss. Mary repeats clicking her nails on the formica counter. It is even dingier white than when I left here. I can see the tearing booths and the old metal chairs that look like they might break at any second.

Charm, Mary calls it.

"Yes," I answer hoping that she doesn't want details of my failures. Mary is good at knowing when to not ask, though. That is probably why I've always preferred coming to her over my mom in certain things. And she does the same thing now, she lets me be, she doesn't pry. She knows I'll talk when I'm ready.

"You have a job here," She says smiling, red lipstick on her teeth.

"When do I start?" I ask.

"Whenever you want," she answers.

"Don't treat me differently."

"Okay, you start tomorrow. 6:00am sharp. Now sit down so I can feed you." Mary says rolling her eyes, "they don't have any food in that great big city?"

"Expensive food, Mar."

She loads up my plate with pancakes and bacon, hash browns and eggs. Too much for any normal person to eat, but I do. I eat it and talk and laugh and pretend my life isn't falling apart right before my eyes.

I would do anything to be back in New York City, walking the crowded streets and fading into the crowds. I'm too visible here.

Everyone that walks in says a quick hello to me and asks what I'm doing here. I shrug them away and hope to hell that no one asks anymore questions.

They all said I was a fool to leave. A fool to run away from my life here but I had to. I had to get our of this town before it swallowed me whole. The whispers and the knowing smiles were too much.

And I proved them right. Every person that said I wouldn't make it is laughing behind their menus and waiting for the first tear to fall. All I wanted was to be one of the ones who made it. Who passed that Welcome sign and kept driving right through.

I thought that maybe I'd bring my kids here one day, show them the oak tree where I had my first kiss. Show them the river that I got my name from. Show them how my life was under a microscope and aren't they thankful they don't have to live like that.

But I lost it all just as quickly as I earned it.

Losing sucks.

"Colt is-" Miss. Mary says pouring more iced tea into my glass.

I cut her off with my hand, "I don't want to hear about him. Okay?"

She nods and heads off in the opposite direction of me. I know she won't ask but right now I kind of wish she would.

"Colt owns the garage on the corner. The one that used to be Mr. Mclaughlin's." A voice says from behind me. I turn and am staring into the green eyes that I know all too well. Mackenzie, Colt's sister.

"Hey, Kenz," I say shoving a large bite into my mouth so I won't have to talk. She raises her eyebrows because she knows exactly what I'm doing. Vi and Kenz best friends forever. Or until Vi decides she's too good for this place and ditches right after graduation.

"He's doing well," she says taking the bar stool next to me. I know her. I know her as well as I know myself. I know she broke her hand punching Jamie Hamilton in the face and not while climbing a tree. I know she stills has her overwhelming collection of stuffed animal alligators.

"I'm glad," I say trying to avoid eye contact. I never thought it would be hard to look my best friend in the eyes. But when she shares those eyes with the biggest disappointment of my life it becomes impossible.

She looks at me. Really looks at me. Like my mother used to when I'd come home after curfew.

"Leave him alone, Vi."

"I'm not planning-"

She stops me, "leave him alone." And she walks out the door, the bell's jingle echoing in my head.