River & Colt [Completed]

5. After

Unedited
5. Twenty-one.

River

"You know, you weren't supposed to leave me behind." I turn around to see Kenzie sitting at the counter, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. Her blonde hair is pulled up in a mess on the top of her head and she isn't wearing makeup.

I can see her sweatshirt is big and stained and so unlike how she would have normally left the house. Even small insignificant changes mean so much.

"I know," I say refilling her cup and wiping my sweaty hands on my apron. I'm manning the counter today, it's easier and less busy for my first shift. I'm grateful for that.

"Then why did you?" Kenzie doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Most people would have freaked if their best friend started dating their twin brother, but not Kenz. And most people wouldn't be trying to make amends after their best friend ditched them without a goodbye.

She wants this to be resolved before things get uncomfortable. Every fight Kenzie and I have had over the years has ended because Mackenzie would apologize first. She hates conflict and I hate giving in.

"I had to get out," I answer wiping down the counter. I wish we weren't doing this here. I can already feel the sting behind my eyes as my best friend sits there and tries to sort everything out. "You know that."

She nods and cracks a small crooked smile. That face meaning she has a lot to say and doesn't know how to say it. I've learned her so well over the years.

"You didn't have to leave me," she says thoughtfully. Voice full of concern. Concern because I'm back? Or because we are having this conversation in public?

"I know." I say again. I'm out of words. I tried so hard to find words when I was in New York. Tried to figure out how to talk to people, interact, remember how easy it was with Colt and Kenz. Breathe, speak, breathe.

"I didn't want to lose you," my voice cracks and I head back into the kitchen hoping that when I come back she's gone. I know that if I go back out there she will tell me that she isn't going anywhere, because Kenzie never lost me or left me. I lost myself.

I lost myself in Colt's green eyes and in my dorm room all those months ago.

My nerves are bursting out of me like airplanes taking off. But I have to tell her my secret. I want Mackenzie back. I never wanted to become another small town statistic but I did. And I tried to run away from that.

When I walk out of the back she's gone. A five is resting on the table next to a napkin. She wrote Call me. Please. Her handwriting is as familiar as the back fields behind my old high school.

The apartment I'm renting is tiny. The basement of a home with a kitchen, a bedroom, and a tiny living area that is filled with baby toys. It works because the older woman who owns the house watches Luna while I work and only charges me a little extra.

This town is tiny. A town where everyone knows mostly everyone. Mrs. Mayer has known me since I was in diapers and my mom rented this very same apartment while we waited for Dad to come home.

And know here we are all these years later.

The house is quiet and dark, I tiptoe down the stairs to see Luna and Mrs. Mayer sleeping soundlessly on the couch. Both breathing in time with each other.

I leave them be and clean up around the house, it's the least I can do.

"Hey, honey, I didn't hear you come in," Mrs. Mayer says carefully picking up sleeping Luna and placing her in her crib. She has aged so much since I've been gone. Deep wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, thin, white haired but always smiling. Just like I remember from when I was little.

"How was she?" I ask taking a peek at my sleeping daughter. Her stuffed dog hugged tightly to her chest.

"Great as always. She is really trying to stand. You're gonna have a runner by a year. Mark my words," Mrs. Mayer says with a wink and heads up the stairs to leave us to our afternoon.

I've been hiding out down here. Playing the backyard, bringing cheap toys home, trying to occupy Luna enough where I don't have to leave the safety of a house I'm trying to make a home.

If anyone sees us they'll know. They'll know in the way her eyes are a swirling mix of blue and green. The way her hair is dirty blonde and she has a dimple in only one cheek. The town will know I hid Colt's daughter from him and that isn't something I can handle, just yet.

First I have to tell Mackenzie.