aries: i swear if i see one more person with a fidget spinner im gonna shove my foot so far up their ass that theyll be picking bits of my shoe out of their teeth for months
taurus: netflix and nachos at my place you in
gemini: MY BED OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU SO MUCH
cancer: i hope everyone here dies
leo: you need jesus
virgo: why does your dog smell like fajitas
libra: LOOK AT THE BUNNY! ITS SO CUTE I WANNA PET IT
scorpio: i can think of 32 different ways to kill you right now
sagittarius: i cant understand what theyre saying in gorillaz songs but its ok bc the lyrics dont make sense anyways
capricorn: im surrounded by idiots
aquarius: i woke up and my dogs ass was in my face
pisces: no i totally didnt go to a-con without you what are you talking about ("i saw pictures of it on instagram") THAT WASNT ME
YOU ARE READING
ZODIACS
Randomim jumping onto the bandwagon goddammit this is gonna be offensive and probably inaccurate
