oreo // lashton

Ashton's POV

Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to disappear and maybe never come back? Welcome to my life. My shitty life. Where people make fun of you, beat you up, and will judge you no matter what. Where you starve yourself, cut yourself, and hate yourself. 

Yup, welcome to my life.

Enjoy your visit. You probably won't. Actually, there's no "probably" about it. You'll fucking hate it. I can't say I blame you, though.

It all started three years ago..

I smiled. I felt like I belonged. Like hanging with Harry, Louis, Zayn, Liam, and Niall was where I belonged. They just made me feel happy in general. I just hope they still like me after this. 

My smile suddenly disappeared at the thought of losing them, which they noticed. 

"Hey, you alright, mate?" Harry asked me, bringing everyone's attention to me with a look of concern.

"Yeah, just...I kinda have to tell you guys something." I told them, putting down my half-eaten sandwich.

"You can tell us anything, Ash." Niall said, actually putting his food down onto his plate. 

"I know. It's just, um...I'm gay." I finally admitted. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

"What? You're gay?" Zayn said in a rather harsh voice. Shit.

"Uh, y-yeah." I stuttered. 

"I can't believe I was friends with you! You're fat and worthless and you just added another reason." I was on the edge of bursting into tears.

Zayn and Liam just got up and left, pulling along a very shocked Niall and Louis. I'm guessing they're still trying to process what just happened. Harry wouldn't go, though.

"Yeah, just keep walking, you homophobic bastards!" Harry shouted at them.

"Harry...Zayn's right. You should just go follow him." I told Harry. Harry looked like he just saw a ghost. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? Hell no! I would never leave you, Ash. They had a stupid reason to leave you. Besides, you're cooler than a couple bitches that can't accept who people love." 

And since that day, I've been bullied and Harry has been my best friend. 

I shook my head in attempt to forget that story for the millionth time. Of course, it never works, but at least I can say I tried. School started in about an hour, so I threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a random band hoodie. I brushed my teeth and styled my hair, giving up and just throwing on a black beanie. I walked downstairs and into the kitchen.

No, I wasn't going to eat. I was just going to say goodbye to my mum before going to school. I came up behind her and hugged her while she was making herself breakfast.

"Hi." I said.

"Hey, sweetie. You want anything for breakfast?" Yeah, I'm starving.

"No, I'll get something at school." No, I won't.

"Okay. Oh, and I've been meaning to ask you something." She told me.

"Yeah?" I said, pulling at my sleeves out of habit.

"Would you like to come to dinner tonight with me and Harry's mum? Harry will be there. And it's spaghetti, you're favourite." She's right, spaghetti was my favourite. And Harry was my best friend. I guess I'll go and just make up an excuse as to why I'm not eating.

"Sure."

"Alright. See you tonight."

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked to school. I managed to get to my homeroom without any unexpected meetings with Zayn and Liam. I did see Niall and Louis, though. They just stared at me with a look of sympathy. I don't know why, though. I haven't talked to them since the day they left with Zayn and Liam. Three years ago.

But at least they don't bully me.

Well, anyway, I was now just sitting in homeroom, tapping my desk with two pencils as if it were a drum. Yes, I play drums. I'm pretty good at it, too. I sing, too, but I'm not the biggest fan of my voice. It's not totally bad, though. 

Luke Hemmings, the guy who sat in front of me, turned around and stared at my tapping pencils. 

"Sorry." I mumbled, laying the pencils inside my desk. He just smiled and turned around, whispering something to his best friends, Calum and Michael. Probably an insult. But to my surprise, he turned back around to face me, along with his friends.

I just stared at them with shock and a little fear. But they smiled. Not that creepy you're-about-to-get-your-ass-kicked smile, but a caring smile. I'm not quite used to those.

"So, Ashton. Can I call you Ash?" Calum asked me. I just nodded.

"Okay, well, Ash, we heard you drumming on your desk. You're pretty good." Calum told me. I just nodded again.

"And we have a band called 5 Seconds of Summer. We've posted a few videos on YouTube and we're not that bad." Michael said to me. I just stared. Yeah, I'm a creepy-ass motherfucker, I know.

"We're just starting out, so we aren't so popular. But we'll get there." Luke said, with so much hope in his eyes. You could clearly see with him-scratch that- with all of them, that music was their passion. I'd be lying if I said music isn't what I want to do with my life.

"Cool." I said, barely above a whisper.

"Well, skipping to the point-" Calum started, being interrupted by Luke. 

"-would you like to join?" Luke finished, earning a glare from Calum.

I forced an extremely fake smile to appear on my face and replied, "I'll think about." 

Luke looked like he was about to say something, but the teacher entered the room and class started.

I'd hate to say it, but I think I might actually want to be in their band.

~

It was finally lunch. Not that I was excited to watch people eat when I couldn't. I'm already a fat-ass, I can't make it worse. I don't even want to know how much I weigh. I know that any number I see that's not 0 will upset me. Damn. This is one of the many moments I want to disappear. On the bright side, Zayn isn't here today and Liam hasn't tried anything.

I made my way to my table in the back. I hate the fact that Harry has a different lunch hour. Come on, school, he's my only friend! Let me sit with him! I was about to put my headphones on, but stopped as two figures approached me. Calum and Michael.

"Hey." They said simultaneously. Okay, that was almost scary. They are best friends, though.

"Hi. I think you're missing someone." I said, pointing out that Luke was missing.

"Oh, yeah, he's at the vending machine." Calum said, gesturing towards the vending machines where Luke was standing.

Luke came back and all three of them sat at my table, for once making all four chairs filled up.

"Well, would you like to join me?" I mumbled quietly, but they still heard it. They laughed some.

Luke looked over at me and frowned at my lack of food.

"Want an oreo?" Luke asked me, pulling an oreo out from the package he got out of the vending machine.

Fuck no. "Sure." What the fuck did I just say? Why did I just eat an oreo? I can't even keep food down, so no doubt this wasn't going to make my stomach feel so great.

Now back to another moment where I want to disappear.

~