oreo // lashton

hell above.

This is a wasteland, my only retreat

With heaven above you, there's hell over me

The water is rusted, the air is unclean.

And there for a second I feel free

This is a wasteland, my only retreat

I've waited all this night to honor you and say,

"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me, on me?"

This is a wasteland, my only retreat

With heaven above you, there's hell over me

Hell Above ~ Pierce the Veil

~

Ashton's POV

I grabbed a random bottle of pills, unscrewing the lid. I held the bottle in my hands and started thinking. I think even the biggest reason to stay ever wouldn't stop me. But, then again, I may be wrong. I normally am.

Harry wouldn't say that, would he? No, he wouldn't. Zayn is just a douche who likes to ruin poeple's lives. Would the others say that, though? Li? Nialler? Little innocent Lou, who never cusses and would never hurt a fly, wouldn't say that, would he? They probably did. It's not like they would be wrong, though.

I said at the end of the call that I might kill myself. I can't say I was lying. I was really considering it. But, again, someone was keeping me here. Someone by the name of Luke. At least I don't feel as weird now. This time I can call him "mine."

How would he react? Happy? Depressed? Angry? Maybe even insecure. He might think that I thought it was that bad going out with him. That could never be it, because it's actually quite the opposite. 

Could I leave those crazy-ass band idiots so quickly? No, that's just plain fucking rude. I thought I would just be removing a pain in their asses if I killed myself.

But if that was true, why did they try their hardest to get to know me? Why did they ask me to join their band? Why did they even talk to me?

I just sighed, and screwed the lid back on. 

Not tonight.

~

I woke up in the morning and felt like I did the wrong thing. Like I should've killed myself last night. Now I'm just going to be a bother to everyone. I'd be doing them a favour.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started getting dressed. I avoided looking into the mirror while changing into skinny jeans and a band hoodie. I wouldn't enjoy what I would've saw.

Skipping breakfast, I started walking to school. While doing so, I heard a car pull over next to me. I kept my head down, because I really wasn't in the mood to get raped right now...or ever. The driver or the car spoke to me, scaring the hell out of me.

"Need a ride?" They asked. I immediately recognized the voice as Luke's. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He said, laughing. Everything about the boy is perfect. 

"Sure, beats walking." I lied, walking around the car to the passenger's side. If anything, I needed the exercise, but I really wanted to see Luke. As soon as I got into the car, he greeted me with an unexpected kiss. Of course, I kissed back, feeling a whole fucking zoo in my stomach.

He pulled away and spoke, "Good morning, gorgeous. I've been waiting to do that since you left." He said. I felt my cheeks flush red as he said that.