Gasping for air, I am as the ocean takes me down into the depths of my own thoughts.
Wait, Isn't that a suicidal thought to make?
Yes it is.
There's the bombshell.
I want to die, I want to rip my own brain from the stem of my spine just so I can see my nerves, just so I can see that I can feel, even if its pain.
Gasping for air, I am as I sit at the top of the mountain thinking about how the Ground would feel embedded into my skin at 90km per hour.
I plot how I could end my being, I sit and ponder how it would feel, how my friends would react, how the world would be without me, the sharna donald.
Then I stop, because it would be such a dark place without me there.
The sun wouldn’t shine for many people, the moon wouldn’t glow and their smiles would crease to exist just like I did.
My life isn't my own because my choices and my persona can change a world, can make a difference, can and will change someone's life because I spoke out.
I fought for what is right and wrong.
That doesn’t stop the gasping for air at the top of the mountain and that doesn't mean I don't want to die it just means I know if i die it won't be just me dying it will be everyone I ever made happy at one stage in their life.
I would not only be killing me but every teacher I ever met, every friend I ever made, and every person I ever spoke to.
So yes, every time I go past a cliff, a bridge and a crossing I want to jump.
But I don’t because I give a fuck about everyone else, I love so hard that I can't break a heart that’s not my own.
I promise ill never kill myself, but I'm still gasping for air hoping, praying that someone will see me struggling and stop by and say hi and help me through this pain that I caused myself because I don't think I'm special or pretty or important.
So currently I think I will always be struggling for breath.
VOCÊ ESTÁ LENDO
Midnight Thoughts
Poesia-I hate how I'm still here- -staring at the stars littering the sky- -watch how differently they treat us- -love is possible but it's so hard to find- -don't trust the voice in your head- "these are my midnight thoughts, I write them down and re...
