Childhood Memories

Part 13

It had been five months since the first signs he was sick, but it had grown worse. He continuously told me he was fine but I didn't believe him. My fears were confirmed almost to the day. I was sitting at the table, eating my breakfast, Donavan hadn't shown up for a while, I was getting nervous and his food was getting cold. I heard the phone ring, I walked over and picked it up, "is this Alexander Rodriguez?" There was a female voice on the other end, "this is he" I responded, "you're husband was just admitted to the hospital. He's not in good shape." My heart gave a lurch, I asked what hospital and room. She told me and I raced over there, passing the park, the school, the bus stop, and all the places Where had spent time with him tears lining my eyes making it hard to see.

I burst into the hospital, and I full on ran to the room, my heart pounding, praying that it wasn't as bad as they said it was. But I knew I had seen how he acted over the last few months, he was short of breath, he was getting skinnier to the point were he looked like a zombie. I knew it was something bad, I ran into the room, he lay there on the bed, he looked so fragile. I walked over to him, he didn't seem to notice me, I sat down next to him. I grabbed his hand, he looked up at me, "I'm sorry" he said weakly, "for what?" I said. "For not telling you sooner, I should have, but I was a coward." He responded, "tell me what? What's going on!" I said frantically, he looked at me with sad eyes, "I have leukemia Hun, it was already bad when I found out, I meant to tell you, but I wanted to wait until I had enough, I just bought the tickets yesterday. I wanted to spend my last few day in Hawaii. Guess that's not going to happen." He chuckled then coughing violently.

I just sat there taking in what I had just heard, I squeezed his hand, and looked at him. "Hey, you still got some time. We..." My sentence trailed off, "Hun you and I both know that we don't." He said. "You should have told me!" I yelled, "I would have done things differently." He shook his head, "no you would be worrying and it wouldn't be enjoyable." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, we just sat there in silence. I noticed the monitor slowing down, I looked down at him, his eyes had no light. I knew he was close to death. I didn't realize how close until the monitor flat lined. I gave out a choked sob, I yelled for him to wake up, pleaded. I could feel his once warm hand turn cold. I sat there, a mixture of crying and screaming. I was eventually escorted out, I tried to fight them off, I couldn't be without him, I wasn't ready.

They eventually got me outside, I went home to find buttercup without water or food. I sighed, fresh tears threatening to fall. I noticed the two tickets on the table, I picked them up. I called the neighborhood, "hey rose could you watch buttercup for me? I'm going on a trip." She said sure and wished us luck, even though it was only me now. I got to the airport and got on the airplane. I stared out the window, the water far below. The person next to me tried talking with me but I ignored him. After the four hour flight I got there, it was one of the islands. I walked down the beach, the white sand under my feet.

I looked at the blue water, it looked so peaceful. I walked into it, I smiled, I just kept going until I could no longer feel the floor, I laid on my back I was ready. Breathing my last breath I turned on my stomach, allowing my lungs to be filled with water, it didn't sting, I had been numb ever since Donavan. As I started to black out I swore I saw Donavan looking at me. "We'll be together soon" I thought as my body sank into the water.