The First

13.2

A/N: Guys, I am so so so sorry this is also another late update! Seriously though, I've just been really stressed as of late and haven't had time to write anything for wayyyy too long. Things are really starting to calm down now (thankfully) so I'm hopeful I can get back to my regular updating starting next week! Thank you for your patience :)

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02 - 11 - 2089

"Do you think they'll find us?" I turn from the window to face Cade. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, reading a map he purchased from a shop right next to the hotel. I've been watching the street below for a little while, but haven't seen any sign of those men who are searching for us.

Cade looks up. "I won't let that happen." He stares at me for a second longer, then his gaze drifts to the papers in his hands. I watch him curiously as his gaze wavers and he meets my eyes once again.

"Gis," he begins, his voice heavy with unspoken meaning, "I won't let anything happen to you." Cade hesitates before continuing, "What they did to you and were going to do..." He shakes his head, and I can see frustration building on his smooth features, turning them rigid. "It isn't right. None of it."

The room darkens, or maybe just the mood does, but I feel the dampening all the same. I feel the heaviness in my heart, even though I don't understand the full extent of what's been done. But how could I? They've been lying to me my whole life, creating an illusion of what they want me to think and believe. And up until now I fell for all of it.

"Are you okay?"

My darks thoughts are erased by the ocean in Cade's eyes, calm and steady. Full of understanding. How did I get so lucky?

I force a smile. "Yeah." I'm not sure he believes me, but after a moment he nods, and then puts down the map.

"Well, we better get ready to go then. The nearest train station that will take us out of this frozen state is in the next city, which is about a day's ride away." Cade picks up a paper bag from the floor, pulling out a pair of scissors.

"What are those for?" I ask, pulling the curtain back over the window and going over to Cade. He smiles, a mischievous one that makes me wonder what he's thinking.

"Time for a haircut."

"What?" I pull a strand of hair over my shoulder, gripping it between my thumb and forefinger.

Cade's smile falls, and he gently leads me over to the restroom. "We have to try and change your appearance. That way it will be harder for them to track you."

"Oh." I let him lead me in front of the mirror and hold still as he straightens my hair against my back. His hand is gentle as he tucks a stray strand from behind my ear.

"Are you ready?" His breathe is warm on my cheek. I grip the edge of the sink, trying not to shake. I've never had a haircut before, at least from what I can remember.

"Is it going to hurt?" I whisper.

Cade shakes his head instantly. "No, no. It doesn't hurt at all. I promise."

"Okay then. Let's get this over with." I suck in a breath, closing my eyes. I feel Cade's fingers around a lock of my hair, then a snip sounds. I open my eyes to see black tendrils flutter to the ground. The dark strands land gracefully on the stained tiles, peaceful and... painless.

I draw my gaze up to Cade, amazement evident on my features. A smile bursts onto his face, as if to say, "See? I told you it wouldn't hurt!" I can't help but smile back, my fingers releasing the edge of the sink. 

I hold still for the rest of the haircut, watching as more and more of my hair tumbles to the floor. Cade work silently, focused on the task. I hold still so he doesn't cut me by accident, my hands trembling just a bit. 

Stop it, I scold myself. I'm not nervous, but they won't stop shaking. I wish I had some of my art supplies. Then I could draw to rid my hands of these shakes. Drawing was always a comfort to me, a light in the haze that was my life. It was a candle in the darkness. But now Cade is here. 

And compared to a candle, Cade is a blazing flame. He is my sun. 

"You're... pretty great. You know that, right?" I say out of the blue, not sure why I feel the need to speak it. I glance at the mirror to see Cade staring at me, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. He doesn't move for a moment, and I panic, thinking I've said something wrong. 

"I'm sorry, I--I didn't mean--" I stutter, trying to convey I didn't mean any harm. Ugh. Gis, why can't you keep your mouth shut? You're pathetic, and worthless, and sad, and--

My thoughts are cut off by the face before me. Cade's eyes, crystal and soft as ever, watch me with such intensity. "Hey, don't apologize. I didn't mean to make you feel bad." He chuckles, a soft sound that fills me with warmth. "It just... took me by surprise is all."

I nod, not quite believing him, but content with his answer. I watch as he cuts the last few strands, then he sets down the scissors. I stare at my reflection, finding it strange. I don't look like myself, to say the least. My hair, which was long against my back before Cade cut it, now dangles just above my shoulders. 

"Now we need to leave," Cade says, leaving the bathroom to pack our things. I stare at my reflection for several more seconds before going back into the bedroom. 

Then I hear it. Soft at first, then louder and more insistent. Someone is knocking on our door. 

I exchange glances with Cade who takes a step towards the door. The knocking changes to banging and Cade hurries the rest of the way, pressing his hand to the doorknob. 

"Who's there?" he asks. 

"Open up. This is Renin Murphy, the owner," a loud, stern voice demands from the other side of the door. Cade and I exchange worried glances before he unlatches the door and opens it an inch. Before Cade can stop him, the man shoves the door open the rest of the way and barges inside, slamming the door behind him. 

I take in the man's short, sturdy build and rat's nest hair as he stares at Cade and I. "You need to leave," he says shortly, straightening his grey sweater. When Cade and I don't say anything, the man humphs, puffing out his chest a bit. "I'm sorry, but I cannot harbor fugitives."

Dread seizes my heart, and I swallow hard. Has he turned us in? Is this the end? After all this running and hiding, am I to go back because this man turned us in? 

"What do you mean?" Cade says, pausing my panic with the steadiness I feel in his voice. I focus on him. If anyone can fix this, it's him. 

The man's eyes soften for a moment, and he twists his fingers back and forth. "I know who you are. But the search for you is growing larger, and you can't be caught here." He pauses before adding, "I'm sorry."  

"So you're not turning us in?" I ask breathlessly, praying I understood him right. 

The man shakes his head. "No, but I will if you don't leave right away."

"We'll leave." Cade grabs our bag of stuff off the bed, finishing putting everything inside it. I nod in agreement with him, still staring at the man. 

"Please don't turn us in," I say, pleading with the man. He has to have some compassion, or why would he have come to us in the first place? I pray I'm right and this isn't a trap. We've come too far for this to be our failure. 

The man stares at me, silent but for his heavy breathing. Then he nods once, curtly, and leaves through the door. The moment he is gone, I turn to Cade. He tosses me my coat, and I shrug it on as I follow him out the door. 

Before it shuts, I cast one last glance at the room where I had many firsts. At the room where I had my first haircut, and my first kiss. The room where I realized that Cade and I have something. 

I can't be sure, but I think I feel a hint of sadness as the door clicks shut and we hurry down the stairs to leave this place behind. Will I ever see it again? Probably not, but I'll always have the memories from it. And that is enough to push me on. 

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