She Will Be Loved

She Will Be Loved- Chp 17

Chapter 17

Later that night I found it much easier to put Emi to sleep. She had stuffed herself with ice-cream then fell asleep on Jayden’s lap while we talked. It wasn’t about anything in particular, just a nice conversation that made us both laugh and take our minds off our problems. It was after seeing him smile again that I decided within myself to never bring up Cynthia again. She was dead and she was better left that way. That was the only way I saw that would protect those two from the hurt they were feeling.

I sighed before entering Tara’s room. There was still just so much going on that I barely had any time for her. She must have thought I was awful for inviting her to stay then ignoring her. We may have had our difference but we were cousins and when I thought about it I realized that we were one and the same. Both of us had abusive mothers and in one way or another we were promiscuous. The similarity went as far as the fact that we were now both teen mothers. There was a lot to be bonded over and I was going to try to make that connecting bridge. Hopefully it would be easy because I had a lot of other things one my mind at the moment and couldn’t put a 100% into it. Matt still hadn’t come home after his little ranting session and I was getting worried. I just hoped her didn’t do anything stupid…

“Knock, knock.” I said, in a light tone. The moment I entered I would have to try to pretend that everything was fine and the world was spinning in perfect balance.

“Come in!” She called.

I opened the door slowly and found her sitting to the top of her bed, leaning against the frame for support as she held Dustin. Somehow seeing that made me smile. Moments like that were rare for me and Emi because my mother hated when I went over to Lilia’s to take care of her. she had wanted me to forget about her and fully put her up for adoption …but I couldn’t do that and now I’m glad that no matter how much she tortured me I never gave in to her on that one because now I have my daughter and she’s dead. It’s a weird thought to have without remorse but in all honesty I couldn’t feel sorry for her; I couldn’t bring myself to miss her the way Matt obviously did. This may have been a stretch but I was happy she was dead.

“Hey, how’s he doing?” I asked, walking over to her and taking the empty space next to her. At the moment he wasn’t sleeping, his eyes were just fixed on her face.

“Well me and him were just getting ready for bed but he seems to be putting up a fight where the sleep is concerned.” She said before rubbing her nose against his briefly and giving him a smile. His eyes flickered to the side before locking on her again. Even I could see the sleep crawling unto his eyes but I knew from experience that it was only when sleep grabbed a baby by the eyelid and wrestled it shut did they ever sleep at this age. That was something I never understood. They were so small, there was only so much they could see and actually remember so why not sleep?

I nodded with a reflective smile. “So what’d you do today?”

“Oh well I uh, went around back with Dustin for a while and we walked through the backyard—I met some of Jayden’s interesting relatives,” Her eyes suddenly got brighter and her smile widened, “I even got to sit down with some of his aunts and talk while we had some tea then I came in and put him to bed and I left the window open then the wind lulled me to sleep.”

“Wow…sounds like a good day.” And to think I had to be at school.

“It was!” She said, all wide eyed. “I really have to thank you Kai, if you hadn’t found me I would probably still be on the street trying to find a means of living for me and Dustin. I have been nothing but horrible to you but yet you—“

“No no no, we won’t be having any of that talk.” I said, stopping her mid-sentence. To me it wasn’t a big deal. Besides that, it would have been cruel to leave family on the streets and babies without a bed to sleep in. I wasn’t my mother. I could care…