Sincerely, Me {A Dear Evan Hansen FF}

{1}

Dear Evan Hansen,

Turns out this wasn't an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week or an amazing year, because why would it be?

I know, because there's Zoe, and all my hope is pinned on Zoe, who I don't even know, and doesn't know me. Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe nothing would be different at all. I wish everything was different.

I wish I was apart of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean face it, would anyone notice if I just disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely,
Your most best, and dearest friend, Me

I quickly hit the print button, just wanting this to be over. This whole thing was stupid. Completely stupid. I closed my computer and shoved it into my bag. Standing up, I turned around and started walking to the printer only to stop mid-step.

A tall boy was standing at the printer. Well not just a boy. Connor Murphy. Only the most hated person in this school. 'Druggie' everyone called him. I personally would rather stay away from him. Sure everyone wants to keep their distance, but me more than everyone.

My anxiety always perks up whenever he's around. It's not my fault he's scary. It was just he pushed me to the floor when I "laughed" at him. I didn't laugh. I didn't. Did I?

"..Evan Hansen...?"

I blink my eyes a few times. Someone- no.. he said my name. Why? Why did he say my name? Is he gonna beat me up? Oh crap I hope not. Please god.. please no, I don't wanna die. What if-

"Is that you?"

"...U-uh yeah.. um yeah I'm Hansen Evan... no! I mean.. ughhh." I groan in frustration, slapping my hands onto my face. My face still covered with my hands, it slowly dawns upon me that Connor is still there. I move my hands off my face and look down.

".. uh y-yes.. that's me.." I murmur, holding tightly onto the straps of my backpack.

"This yours?" He asked roughly, holding the paper out.

"Um.. yes.. did.. you uh... did you read it?" I fumble out, shutting my eyes tightly. Please tell me no. God please, just tell me no.

"Why?.. did you break your arm?" I heard him say slowly.

"N-nothing!"

"Were you answering the first question or the second? Can you at least try to not to confuse me." He growled lowly.

I opened one eye. "Yes."

"Yes. What?" He growled.

"Yes...I b-broke my arm."

"How?" He asks, his voice softening a little.

"Fell out of ..a tree.." I murmur.

"That's the sadest fucking thing I've ever heard." Connor said, with a small chuckle.

"..ha ha.. yeah.." I smile a little, not wanting to seem rude.

"Can I sign your cast?" He asks after a few moments of awkward silence.

"..really? Um ..I don't have... a pen or.."

"You got a sharpie?"

".. yes.. yeah .." I fumble around in my backpack for it. Finding it I take it out and hand it to him.

He walks closer to me and grabs my arm (with my cast obviously), and writes in huge letters. Taking up the entire front side, the letters spelling out his name. C O N N O R.

"Uh .. wow, that's uh.. great.. thanks." I mumble, looking at his name.

"Ha no problem. Now it looks like we both have friends. Oh, your paper. Here." He said, handing the paper out.

"Thanks.. you said you didn't read it.. right?" I ask, taking the paper, folding it up and shoving it in my back pocket.

"Yeah. That's what I said. Were you not listening to me?" He said, clearly annoyed.

"..oh um .. yes I was, I was listening to you.. I just... I just wanted t-to make sure."

"Yeah. Okay." He folds his arms over his chest.

".. you seem so.. so different.."

"What?"

"..y-you heard me."

"Well duh I heard you. I'm not deaf."

".. your not.."

"Not what?" He said, almost glaring.

"..not.. pushing me.." I quietly murmured, looking down and playing with the hem of my shirt.

"..oh.. uh.. well I was pissed so.. sorry for the other day I guess." Connor said, voice getting soft again.

"I-I should probably go!" I say quickly, "my mom should have dinner getting ready!"

"It's only 4:15... You eat dinner this early?"

".. really? O-oh would you look at the time.. ha ha ha.." I laugh awkwardly. Stepping to the side very quickly, I start to walk past Connor.

I look back at him, "uh.. bye!"

He shoves his hands into his pockets, "Bye."

Oh god that was terrifying. But it's okay. I made it out alive and unharmed. I quickly walk out the school and start to walk home. Arriving soon, since my school is so close to my house. Pulling the letter out of my pocket I sigh. Wait... I read the letter over again and see something on the bottom of it. A note.

I read it. I couldn't tell you that in person. But what the hell man? Why the fuck would you write about my sister?

-you know the fuck who

~~~

How was the first chapter? I hope good :)

~Fro