Sincerely, Me {A Dear Evan Hansen FF}

{35}

{trigger warning}

I woke up that morning feeling groggy. I lifted my head off the (now) not wet pillow and rubbed my eyes.

That's when I remembered yesterday afternoon.

I tried to choke back a sob but failed miserably. There was a knock at the door. They kept knocking. Getting louder and louder. Till finally the door opened.

But, isn't my mom at work?

There was the shuffling of feet and then the creaking of stairs. They must be walking upstairs.

I kept crying, hugging my pillow as tight as I could. I flinched once I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I sniffled and looked at them.

"Jeez Hansen, what did that pillow ever do to you to make you want to squeeze it to death?... or drown it with your tears." Jared's voice says, almost chuckling.

"..g-get away from me." I say, my voice a little hoarse.

"What, why?"

"You're stealing him Jared. You like him.. and he likes you.. not me." I whisper, hugging my pillow closer to my body.

"What are you- oh... ohhhh."

"Please.. just.. go." I mumble.

"No Ev, it's okay. Me and Connor? We're not a thing. You and Connor on the other hand.. you guys are a thing. Me and Connor are just friends. Trust me, no one can replace you in Connor's eyes." Jared says, hand still on my shoulder.

And in one swift moment, I look at him, drop my pillow, and attack him in a hug. He instantly hugged me back, holding onto me. I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I... messed.... up." I say between hiccups.

Jared rubbed my back and shushed me.

"Save your strength. Just let it all out Ev. We can talk when you're not crying waterfalls." Jared says softly.

"...okay.." I mumble, holding tightly onto him.

We sat like that for awhile, both of us hugging each other tightly. I finally stopped crying, Jared was still rubbing my back.

"Jared..?" I whisper.

"Hm?" He hums.

I bury my face into the crook of his neck, pulling him closer. "Why'd you come here today..?"

"Heidi texted me. Said you fell asleep crying. She knew you wouldn't go to school today cause you'd forget about it. Also told me to look after you, make sure you're okay." Jared says, rubbing my back.

"You really know how to calm me down. Thanks." I mumble.

Somehow I ended up in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, my face also buried there. His arms were around my back, still rubbing. It was weird since I was a little taller than him and he was holding me in his lap but eh it didn't really matter.

"Yeah. No problem."

I opened my eyes and slowly pulled away from him, scooting a little backwards on my bed. He was watching me with excitement.

"Your legs!" He says.

"Oh yeah, I can walk now!" I say, standing up and walking around to prove it.

"That's awesome Ev!!" He smiles and stands up. "Now I don't have to carry you everywhere!"

I lightly slap his arm, "Shut up Jare."

He chuckles and we both walk down the stairs so I could eat breakfast. Jared ended up eating as well, "Eh why not?" He said, grabbing a bowl and making some cereal.