Sherlock and the Guide

Sherlock 5

Sherlock

Sherlock wanted to come home as soon as possible. He hated being stuck on this ship full of idiots. He had never felt more like a genius. And these two men just never seemed to care. The other day, Zaphod had forgotten where he laid his pants because he took them off for no apparent reason (which he seemed to do a lot), so he just walked around in his boxers.

That day

Zaphod walked into the living room, he was wearing boxers covered in a logo that said "Disaster Area".

"Hey, Sher, have you seen my pants?" Sherlock ignored him and continued to watch some stupid show that was broadcast on the planet they were orbiting. Zaphod sighed, annoyed. "Sherlock, have you seen my pants?"

"No." Sherlock glanced at him, but quickly regretted it. He closed his eyes. "Just go out some other pants on."

"No, no I need those pants."

"Why?"

"They're the only ones that match my outfit." Sherlock opened his eyes again and looked at his shirt; it was bright blue and yellow. Sherlock couldn't think of anything that could possibly match it.

"Right..."

"Well, can you at least help me look?"

"Get Ix to do it."

"I can't, he's sleeping." Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Please? I mean, you ARE a detective!" Sherlock stood up, he regretted telling them what he did on Earth.

"Fine." Zaphod smiled and watched Sherlock, he didn't do anything for a minute.

"So, uh, are you going to dust for prints or something?"

"Is this a murder?"

"I don't think so."

"Then you have your answer."

Sherlock and Zaphod walked around the ship for an hour and a half before Zaphod announced that he remembered that the pants were in his room. He walked off to put them on after being yelled at for being an idiot.

Now

The there was Ix, who decided to argue with him, which was always a bad idea.

The day before

"Ix, I've told you, there is no such thing as 'The Great Green Arkleseizure'!"

"Yes, there is."

"No, it's not possible."

"What do you mean?"

"A giant creature sneezed the universe out of its nose?"

"Yes."

"And you're waiting for that handkerchief thing to come get you guys?"

"Yep."

"That's not possible."

"YES. IT. IS."

"NO. NO IT IS IN NO WAY POSSIBLE!" Sherlock was standing up now.

"Well why not?!"

"HOW COULD THE UNIVERSE BE SNEEZED OUT OF SOME GIANT CREATURE THAT IS STUPID!"

"It's not stupid, it makes sense!" Ix was now standing as well, and he was ready to fight if it came to that.

"HOW DOES IT MAKE SENSE?! DOES THAT MEAN I SNEEZE OUT SOME TINY UNIVERSE EVERY TIME I BLOW MY NOSE?!"

"Maybe!"

"You are all idiots for believing this!" Ix stood for a second before socking Sherlock in the face. Sherlock stepped back and lunged at Ix, knocking him over. The two wrestled around for awhile before finally being pulled apart by Zaphod, who, luckily, had remembered his pants today. Sherlock began to walk over to his room.

"YOU'RE ALL WRONG!" He sulked off.

Now

Sherlock missed John too. He had his phone with him, but couldn't contact John because they were floating out in the middle of space. Sherlock was laying on the couch when Zaphod came in.

"Uh, hey Sherlock."

"What do you want?"

"Well, I've noticed that you've seemed miserable on this trip, unless acting miserable is how you Earth people show excitement or happiness. Anyways, Ix and I are going farther out into the galaxy, and I really didn't want to drag you out there if didn't want to. We can take you home." Sherlock stared at him.

"When can you take me home?!"

"Well, about a day."

"YES! YES, PLEASE TAKE ME HOME!" Sherlock jumped off the couch and ran to Zaphod. "You're a lot more caring than you let on."

"Yeah, and you're kind of boring to hang out with, so we kind of want you off of my ship." He smiled stupidly.

"Aaaand he's back." Sherlock walked back to his room,excited to go home.