Night Drives

Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

 I should just make a U-turn and head home. I haven't visited in a week and I had to make an excuse to leave group therapy. I'm surprised I stayed awake the entire thirty-minute drive before arriving. My hands were shaking on the wheel, I flexed my fingers and tried to steady my eyes on the road. James was still in recovery. I swallowed hard as I sat in my car parked behind the Red Cross Hospital building. It's what kept me up at night. I was one of the lucky ones, with a broken arm it took eight weeks to heal because of physical therapy.

Sighing out, I got out and headed straight inside. I pushed the revolving door and stepped up to the receptionist table. "What can I help you with?" The woman questioned, staring blankly at me.

"I'm here to visit James Gardiff," I informed her.

"Any relations?" she asked while looking on her monitor screen to search his name. She looked new, usually, it was Winston with the skinny mustache. Her black hair was in a bun and had a pearl necklace around her neck.

"I'm his cousin," I answered. She nodded and pulled out a visitor's badge from the drawer.

"Thank you." I grabbed the badge with ease and headed to the direction of the elevator. Holding in my breath, I pushed the number 4 button and the lift door closed. I hated hospitals: the sterile smell, the tone of sickness, the beeping of monitors, and the dread of results from the doctors and nurses, all of it made me queasy. He could have died.

I headed in the same direction in the hall, the number 441 of his room. It was already open, I entered quietly. The beeping of his heart monitor and faint breathing from his oxygen tube seemed louder. "Hey cuz," I said softly and shut the door. The fact that his heart was still beating was a good sign. I heard the bathroom door open with a 'whoosh' sound.

His mom came out, drying her hands with paper towels. Her brown eyes, went wide and she jumped back. The redness from her pupils were fading. Her brownish red hair was in a ponytail. Some strands fell on her pale cheeks. The last time I came here, it ended up in a screaming match. How I was awake but he wasn't. I almost broke the door slamming it behind when I left.

"Oh. Sorry." I turned around to leave.

"Damien, wait," Aunt Karen spoke loud enough for me to stop in my tracks. Rolling my eyes, I slowly prepared myself for another screaming session. She surprised me when her arms wrapped around my waist, her head reached my chest.

She sighed against it and said, "it's so nice to see you." I cleared my throat and wrapped my arms around her. hugged her back. "I'm so sorry," she began to whimper, her body shook.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. How is he?" I took in deep breaths to hold back my own tears. She's still family. I hated seeing her cry.

"The doctor said he can wake up any minute, his vitals are getting stronger." She released her hold, her wide watery smile became filled with hope. I nodded, that's a good thing.

"Um, I'll leave you two then."

"No, no you can stay. Morris isn't here today." That's a relief, I didn't want to see him anyway, He called me a hateful, violent human being that didn't deserve to walk.

She wrung her fingers, "we... Me and your uncle deeply apologize for blaming you for the accident."

"I should have stopped him from getting in that car."

"He was angry and on drugs. We didn't know what to do at the time and..." she couldn't continue. As she held her mouth, she began to sob again. I pulled her close to my chest as she cried against it. She breathed in and out, trying to calm down. I rubbed her back, holding her tight so she wouldn't collapse. Her son was in a life or death situation, she's helpless. We all were. The worst part of it all: it was my fault.

***

After Aunt Karen wiped her tears away, we sat on the available chairs near his bed. She wanted to know how I was doing. She asked about school and how mom, dad, and sister were doing. I wanted to know how she was, but I could tell that she needed a distraction. I answered as much as I could. She even asked if I had a girlfriend. I simply shook my head no. I looked at the clock, I've been here for an hour.

"I should go." I stood from the chair.

"Will you come again next week? Maybe we can have dinner after? No fights this time," Aunt Karen suggested as she stood up too, holding my elbow.

"I'd like that," I smiled tightly.

She grinned, jumping over for a bone-crushing hug. "I love you so much, Damien."

"I love you, too," I responded, clutching her tight.

"Drive safe," she told me.

"Yeah." We pulled apart, I shut the door behind me and left. A nauseous feeling waved over me, I breathed in once more and entered my car, driving off the road. 

❤❤❤❤❤
#blacklivesmatter