The Matchmaker

Chapter 14

It felt like a lifetime before the knock sounded at her door indicating Brian was ready to see her. She had a gut feeling that their chat wouldn’t go well. She wanted his friendship back more than ever but his confession had changed all of that. Unless she admitted she shared his feelings, things couldn’t go back to how they were. The question was did she share his feelings? She had never thought about it before. Brian and Nathan were always just there, her buddies. Never once had she dreamed of having any feelings like that for either of them. Now that she thought about it though, it seemed so strange.

Why had Brian developed feelings for her? Why hadn’t she responded to them? He was very good looking but then again looks weren’t everything. He was one of the nicest people she knew but she still couldn’t get past the fact that they had been friends for so long. That feeling alone reminded Shannon why she didn’t share his feelings. Brian and Nathan were her friends, that was all.

Then why did the feeling in the pit of her stomach make her feel as though she were lying to herself? Putting it down to the stress of the last couple of days she pushed it out of her mind.

A second knock reminded Shannon that he was waiting.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and let him in. He held her gaze for a split second but looked away immediately. His feelings were all over the place and being with Shannon at that moment wasn’t doing much for them. Seeing how badly she had taken things lead him to believe there were other issues of which he was unaware. He had known for a long time there were other issues but had given up all hope of ever finding out. He just hoped that day was the day he would find out. All he wanted was to understand her again, to understand why she had gone to such lengths to do what she had.

“Why are you here?” Shannon asked after a long silence.

Brian shrugged and smiled ever so slightly. “Nathan didn’t really give me a choice.”

“I would hope it wasn’t that much of a hardship. We’ve always been close friends, Brian. I couldn’t bear to think you hated being around me.”

“I don’t hate being around you Shannon. Quite the contrary in fact but after all that has happened it’s difficult. Especially since -”

Brian trailed off and Shannon nodded awkwardly. It was obvious neither of them were ready to talk about his confession.

She wanted so badly to talk to him but couldn’t find the words. What she said to Nathan was the truth. She couldn’t talk about her mother’s death openly, not yet. If her father hadn’t confessed the truth to Nathan then she wouldn’t have told him yet either. She was glad he knew but even if he asked questions she didn’t feel she would be able to talk about it.

Keeping it from Brian was unfair, she knew that, but how could she tell him when she didn’t feel ready? She couldn’t, that was all there was to it. Yes it meant she would lose his friendship but at that moment she couldn’t do anything about it.

“I also wanted to apologise for what happened the other day.” Brian continued noticing Shannon wasn’t going to say anything. “What I said was unfair and cruel.”

Shannon appreciated his apology but knew she deserved all that was said to her, even if it was cruel.

“It was the truth though.” Shannon said. “I appreciate your apology but if anything I owe you one. For everything. I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me but I hope you will. I never intended to hurt anyone even though I know I did.”

Brian looked at her for a long moment and had to control the urge to take her in his arms and hold her. He wanted to forget about the past few days and just start again. He would too if only she told him what he so badly wanted to hear. He knew that wouldn’t happen though and he felt sad all over again.