The Matchmaker

Chapter 25

As worn out as Shannon felt after the accident, she told Brian everything. The whole time he listened intently and never once interrupted. He was devastated at what he heard and couldn’t believe Shannon had lived with that for so long. One part of him understood why she had done it but another part of him wished she had confided in him earlier. It could have saved so much heartbreak but he soon realised it wasn’t that easy. Living with that kind of guilt wouldn’t be easy for anyone, no matter how strong they were.

Two hours passed before Shannon and Brian finally finished talking. The past was finally out in the open, Brian finally understood why Shannon had been the way she was and they had both forgiven each other for things said or not said in the past. The only hurdle they now had were the feelings they had toward each other. Another silence had fallen upon them and neither of them knew what to say or how to say it. Deep down they both knew how the other felt but getting the words out was the hardest part.

Finally it was Brian who decided to break the silence. “I can’t do this anymore, Shannon.”

Shannon looked up in shock, her heart pounding in her chest. What did he mean? Their talk had gone well, what else had upset him? Had she misread the signs? She noticed that their hands were still entwined but Brian released his grip and started pacing the floor.

“What do you mean?” Shannon asked missing the feeling of his hand on hers. “Look if you feel that we can’t be friends anymore then please just be honest. I can handle it.”

Brian felt like his heart was breaking. Friends? Had he really gotten it so wrong? What could he say to something like that?

“I really am sorry for everything, Brian.” Shannon continued feeling like she was about to cry any second. “I know I can’t fix what has happened but I just want back what we once had.”

She wanted to add ‘if I can’t love you then I can at least be your friend’ but felt it wasn’t appropriate. For a while she was certain he still felt the same way but that one comment had cast doubts in her mind and she didn’t want to make a fool of herself again.

Brian shook his head. “We’ve been through all of that, Shannon. I told you I forgive you and I mean it. In fact I forgave you months ago. The truth is, when you and Amy showed up I thought that you were coming to tell me you were wrong and that you did have feelings for me. I realise now I had fooled myself. That’s why I have been so angry, Shannon. I’m angry that I didn’t contact you sooner and tell you I forgave you. I’m angry because I tried to prove I wasn’t in love with you by getting engaged to someone else and then hurting that person when I realised I loved you more than ever! I’m angry because I thought you shared the same feelings as me but you don’t.” Brian ran a hand through his hair, tears filling his eyes. “You just want to mend our friendship and leave it at that but I can’t be just friends, Shannon. I just can’t.”

Shannon couldn’t remember the last time she felt so stupid yet so happy at the same time. She had completely misunderstood him! He had been anguishing over how to tell her his feelings and she had completely misinterpreted it. Now he thought she didn’t care for him! She shook her head and she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. She felt like a 15 year old all over again. A 15 year old with a crush on a boy who she thought didn’t share her feelings even though he did.

Noticing a tear sliding down Brian’s cheek, Shannon felt a pang of guilt. She had to correct the situation before he walked out of her life for good.

Struggling out of bed she approached him and took his hand. He looked up at her in shock.

“You’re wrong.” Shannon blurted.

“I am?”

“Yes because, well, the truth is -”

She trailed off, suddenly overcome with nerves. How hard was it to tell someone you loved them? Noticing the hopeful look on Brian’s face she knew she had to say it. He had said it hadn’t he? Surely she could too.