"i always told myself to step into the sun, but little did i know that she'd be doing cartwheels into the light..."
disclaimer: i don't own any of dear evan hansen, and i am fully aware there is another fanfic on wattpad with the same title. this co...
chapter three find something, find anything/say something say anything (author's note the dance above is the solo that evan mentions later in the chapter) mia pov
trigger warning: some conversation about suicide
I honestly was a little shook after finding out about the article. I don't really know why... I mean, so what? My dad had a friend who committed suicide, and he helped two other kids build an apple orchard. Still, it felt like a bigger deal that it was. Sure, I had already known that Susan's aunt and my dad were friends in high school, but I felt like I was finally getting more pieces together to the big puzzle of who my father was. My father never really told me anything about his past, and I kind of had to go to my grandma. Even she didn't give me every detail. I finally realized that I could learn more about my dad that what he or Grandma would tell me.
However, when I told Susan, she didn't exactly have the same amount of excitement.
"Well, that explains a lot..." she said, "But are you taking Aidan?"
"No," I told her, "But, I mean, isn't this exciting?"
"I mean, if I wanted to know more about Aunt Alana, I would just ask her. She's never said anything about the orchard, but I don't care... No offense..." Susan replied.
It kind of sucked, though, because Susan doesn't understand what I'm going through with this. She never had to wonder who her parents were, or what her father's mental health state was. She never had to worry about her dad going through something awful before her own eyes, and she would barley know. Nonetheless, I kept quiet. I didn't want my friends to get too annoyed by my personal matters.
Therefore, when I got home, I took it upon myself to do a little research. I, of course, wasn't going to ask my father all about this stuff. He wouldn't answer any of my questions. I don't even know how he would react? My dad never really got mad or anything, and I don't think he would this time. Then again, I never got into trouble that much, but I used my better judgement and decided to keep quiet.
I quickly took out my laptop and Googled "Connor Murphy" and the name of my city, just to be sure.
Teen's Suicide Prompts a Student Group, Dedicated to Keeping his Memory Alive...
You Will Be Found" Teens Create Organization to Show that Everyone Matters...
The headlines and articles were all the same. No real interviews or anything. Just quotes from their videos. I figured my next search should, be "The Connor Project". I Googled "The Connor Project", but all I could find were articles and stuff. I couldn't find the official website or anything. I couldn't find any of the videos that were mentioned in the articles, either. The only evidence of the Connor Project ever existing was in the articles. I found that a bit odd, but then again, it was 20 years ago. Websites from that long ago are pretty hard to find.
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