step into the sun ☼ deh

xvii

chapter seventeen
assumptions
mia pov

trigger warnings: verbal abuse (siblings), suicide mention

When I got to school, on Monday, I walked in with Susan and Chris, as usual. There were no abrupt rants, which was a bit unusual. Susan had been getting along with Alex (maybe "getting along" is an exaggeration... They were civil).

"So, how are things with your brother?" I asked Chris since I knew that he had problems with his brother the week before.

"Well, I've been talking to my parents a little bit about everything. I mean, my brother wasn't the worst when Mom and Dad were home, but they kind of knew that he was rude. They're going to have a 'family meeting' deal tonight..." Chris told me.

"Chris, I'm so sorry about your brother..." I told him

"I mean, he doesn't physically hurt me, so I mean it could be worse. I'm trying to stay positive. It kind of hurts, though. I mean, I feel like I can't embrace who I am around my brother,"

"That doesn't make it okay... No one should ever have to go through something like that..." Susan said.

"Thanks Susan... I mean, I'm trying not to let it bother me. I think that if I just embrace who I am around my brother, he'll get annoyed and live with it. If I hide, I'm letting him win, but it's hard... I'm hoping that everything will change. And if not, we're graduating soon, so I think I'll be fine..."

"Well, we're rooting for you, no matter what, okay?" I told my friend.

"Thanks guys... I literally have no idea what I would do without you guys, thank you so much..."

We had a small group hug, but we kept walking, so we wouldn't be those annoying people in the hallways that stop in the middle. I was honestly getting a little worried about Chris. His brother was being really mean to Chris, because of his sexuality. I hated it when people were bullied for something that made them them... People shouldn't have to be afraid to be themselves, no matter what. I hoped that Chris' brother would wake up and realize what he's doing. We were optimistic, though, since Chris had parents who were strict when they needed to be. I'm sure they realized that they needed to be strict now.

☼☼☼

"Mia, I think I found something big!" Chris told me, later that day, as Susan and I were walking together.

"What is it?" I asked. Chris held up his phone, to reveal the blog page that I had become so familiar with, over the past weeks.

bathb0mb.qu33n.: I asked  my dad more in-depth questions... He said that it was something with the other guy in the group... I think he is still kind of salty about what happened. My guess is that they all got into an argument or something... I think that's all the information I'm going to get out of him... Best of luck!

"Let's go bathbomb girl!" I said.

"I know, she's committed to looking for this," Chris replied.

"Well, I think we know what happened. They got into an argument, I don't know what about, but this is probably as far as we're going to get..."

"Mia, this is going to sound really insensitive, but let's be real, here... I think we all know why they got into the fight..." Susan started laughing. I rolled my eyes.

"Guys, my dad really isn't that young..."

"I know, but I mean, it makes the most sense. I mean, think about it... Assuming that your mother is Connor's sister, I heard that they went out in high school. So your dad hung out with Connor's family a lot for obvious reasons, and his friend probably got mad at him. So they got into a fight and shut down the Connor Project... Simple as that..." Chris explained.

     "That does make sense, but I don't want to go from assuming things about my mother, right after we're literally assuming things about how they got into their fight..."

     "Yeah, I'm going with the mom thing..." Chris told me.

     "Ditto..." Susan said, "They could've reconnected after high school..."

     "And even if she isn't your mom, that could still be the reason that they quit The Connor Project..." Chris said.

     "But at the same time, don't you think that's a little stupid to close this organization that went viral, and literally was a memorial to their classmate just because one of the members was dating a girl?" I asked.

     "It does seem kind of farfetched..." Susan admitted, "I mean, it would have to be a better reason than that."

     "Say what you will, but I think that Zoe had something to do with it..." Chris told me.

     "Wait a minute..." I said, remembering the day Susan and I went to the library to look at old newspapers, "You mean like, Zoe Murphy? The journalist?"

     "Well this Zoe's name is Zoe Murphy, so I mean it might be the same person. I don't know if she moved super far away or anything. I haven't done much research on Zoe, since she wasn't too involved with the actual Connor Project,"

     "You would think that she was involved, though, since that was her brother..." Susan interjected.

     "I mean, we don't exactly know Connor as a person... He honestly could have been abusive to her. If my brother committed suicide, when I wouldn't automatically forgive him, just because he killed himself..." Chris replied.

      "But my dad always said in the articles that he was a good person and stuff. He always talked about how they went to the old apple orchard together, didn't they?" I asked.

     "Honestly, in my perspective, people would say that about my brother..."

     "Yeah, usually people with mental illnesses and stuff lash out on their family and stuff," Susan said.

     "Well I guess that it's safe to not believe everything that my father said in those articles..." I replied.

     "I mean, if he had some mental illness, shouldn't we like... Cut Connor some slack?" Susan asked.

     "I don't really consider a mental illness as an excuse to 'cut him some slack' for verbally abusing his sister..." Chris said, starting to get defensive.

     "Guys, let's not fight here, we don't even know if he really abused his sister or not..." I reminded my friends, as we headed to our next classes.