step into the sun ☼ deh

vi

chapter six
hello, my name is...
mia pov

trigger warnings: mention of anxiety

"We have some bad news..." Chris told me, during lunch on Monday, with Susan.

"What?" I asked, expecting it to be a dead end on The Connor Project research. Of course, I was expecting this, mostly because I had hit a ton of dead ends.

"Aidan's dating Kendall..." Susan said, "I heard it from CeCe this morning..."

"Oh, I don't care," I replied, bluntly, "I've been over that for a while..."

"You sure?" Chris asked.

"One-Hundred Percent..." I replied. To be honest, I had gotten over Aidan a long while back. I guess Susan and Chris didn't think I was. I didn't mind though. I guess without my old crush on Aidan, my friends couldn't recommend the apple orchard to me, and I wouldn't have learned about Connor... I got to learn a little bit about my father because of it, so I guess I don't have any regrets or anything.

"Okay... I just wanted to make sure..." Chris said.

"Well, I got over him the longest time ago, so I think I'll be fine" I replied, with a slight giggle.

"Anyways, on a happier note, I got some more information about the Connor Project on my blog..." Chris told me.

"You do realize I could've asked my aunt about all this right?" Susan told us.

"Yeah, but my source confirmed that The Connor Project page got deleted,"

"Okay, well why did it get deleted?" I asked.

"I asked the source that this morning, but they haven't gotten back with me yet," Chris said, "I mean, whatever the reason is, I don't want to make your aunt uncomfortable or anything... Usually when it gets deleted, it's not a good reason..."

"Okay, but whenever you hit rock bottom, and you can't find anything, let me know..." Susan told us.

"I could've asked my dad too, but that would probably make him uncomfortable..." I said.

"Doesn't your dad have like... anxiety or something?" Chris asked.

"I think so... I mean, he's kind of a counselor for people who have anxiety, so I guess he might've had it at some point..." I replied. I usually don't like telling my friends about this stuff. I feel a bit like I'm betraying my father, if I tell my friends about him, especially his mental health struggles. I worry about him constantly, and I just hope he's okay, though I don't know how to help.

"Well, anyways, I'm hoping I'll find out why the page was deleted this week," Chris said.

"That's good. We're one step closer to figuring it all out!" I replied. I was honestly really happy to learn all of this. I was learning more about my dad than what he or my grandma would . I don't know if that was a legitimate reason to be happy about this, but I was, nonetheless.

"Do you think that maybe you can find your mom through this?" Susan asked.

"I mean, I haven't really thought about it. I mean, my dad told me she left, so I just assumed that she lives like... super far away... Maybe she dies, I don't know..." I replied.