step into the sun ☼ deh

v

chapter five
late nights/early mornings
mia pov

trigger warnings: none

One of my favorite things was staying up super late. And by late, I mean like the earliest hours of the morning. I didn't have a specific thing I did. I mostly wrote random stories, or cleaned my room. I sometimes watched Netflix or did schoolwork, if needed.

This night, in particular, I didn't want to really research The Connor Project or anything. I didn't want my dad to randomly walk in, while I was researching. Although my after always told me that he was going to bed, I could still sometimes hear him wandering around in the house. I don't know if he ever knew if I was awake or not He never walked in and checked on me or anything, which is kind of weird for me to think that he would randomly start. Nonetheless, I didn't want to take any chances and research The Connor Project.

I decided to type out a couple of random ideas for stories, just to get my thoughts out. I hand't actually allowed myself to sit down and write something for a while, so this was something that I was happy doing. I mostly wrote about normal people, living normal lives. I never wrote teenage relationship stories. I felt that I wasn't good at relationship books, but I didn't mind. I could expand my horizons a little bit more. I wasn't a big fan of relationships, mostly because you either break-up or get married, and I'm not exactly interested in either one. Though, I'm not actually considering anything, because I'm seventeen, and I'm more focused on getting through my senior year. But the whole crush on Aidan had come and gone, and I have been over it for a while, though Susan thinks we'd be adorable.

Staying up super late was kind of weird to me. It felt like I had all the freedom I could, but I was only confined to my bedroom. It was still exciting, though many wouldn't say that staying up late isn't a big deal. This could have also been because I was kind of a nerdy-goody-two-shoes. Nonetheless, I was happy with myself, and I enjoyed this time alone in my room at night. Staying up late, obviously wasn't the best idea when I had to get up early in the mornings. It being a Friday night, I figured I would be fine. My dad usually didn't care if I slept in, unless there was something important going on. This wasn't very often, so I figured I would be fine. I still tried to get up kind of early, because I didn't want to be stereotypical, and sleep until noon.

I always lost track of time when I wrote. I could write for three hours or thirty minutes, and I probably wouldn't now the difference. I always tried to get every thought down before it was too late. In middle school, Susan would always call me "Alexander Hamilton" because she thought I wrote like I was "running out of time," as one of the songs said. Susan was obsessed with Hamilton in middle school, and she made me listen to all of the songs. She could rap "Guns and Ships" at one point, but I don't know if she still can or not. Susan's good at remembering things, so I'm sure she could, if she tried.

I took a swig of the newest of the three plastic water bottles that I had left on my nightstand. I had a bad habit of just having random plastic water bottles left around my room. I never really realized that this was a habit that a lot of people had. In my defense, I preferred cold water, and sometimes I forgot that I had a somewhat cold water sitting on my desk or my nightstand. Whenever I cleaned my room, I always felt bad, because I thought I was wasting water. Then I started using the extra water to water my succulents (since my succulents are always dying, but not totally dead). I kept typing quickly, getting the words in my head, out on the computer screen. The best feeling ever was seeing words that have been swimming around in your mind for the longest time, get on a screen or page or whatever you use to write. I had constantly thought about keeping a physical journal, but I've always decided against it. I can type faster than I can handwrite, and whatever I wrote was harder to loose on an electronic. I was constantly finding and loosing old journals that I wrote in during my childhood. Some of them were hilarious or just plain embarrassing to read.

I guess halfway through the night-around 1:30 am-ish-it started to rain, and slightly storm. Not that I'm complaining or anything, I love the rain. I always found the rain peaceful, especially when I was writing. It gave some soothing background noise, for me to enjoy. When I was a child, I never understood why people thought of the rain as sad. The rain brought hydration and life to the plants. Plus, sometimes there was even a nice rainbow after a storm. I guess it was dark outside while it rained, but I guess the darkness was worth the life and beauty in the end.

I guess I decided to fall asleep to the sound of the rain.

☼☼☼

evan pov

It had been a little while since Zoe and I had talked. Granted, it was the middle of the night, and I didn't have anyone else to talk to, really. Zoe was kind of my go-to person. We were dating on-again-off-again when we were younger, but at one point, we decided not to really put a label on our relationship. Things got... complicated, as we got older. However, if I was in a situation like this, when I couldn't sleep (which was most nights, since I tended to get nightmares or just get caught up in my thoughts), I would sometimes gather the courage to talk to Zoe, or at least think about it. After everything we've gone through, in the last years, I should feel comfortable talking to her about anything, but I still got nervous to talk to her. I don't know if it was because we barely saw each other in person, or if I still had feelings for her (I did still have feelings for her, if you were wondering)... I tried not to think about it, but on these sleepless nights, that's sometimes where my thoughts would sometimes fall...

I was happy that I actually texted her, though. It was weird, because I still got nervous to talk to her. Then again, I got a little nervous to talk to anyone (I find it so ironic that my job is literally talking to other people), but I was usually more comfortable with Zoe. I don't now why I was scared to text her, now. I guess it was because we hadn't seen each other in-person for a couple of months, and thought texting felt a little bit easier, I felt like I wanted to see Zoe in person again. But the problem was, I couldn't go without a reason...