step into the sun ☼ deh

xx

chapter twenty
honesty is the best policy
mia pov

trigger warnings: anxiety and mention of suicide

I stayed in my room for most of the night, kind of worrying about what was happening next... I didn't know if Grandma was going to tell dad about what I asked her. He probably wouldn't mention anything. Dad would shrug it off, and I would never know anything about the woman in the picture. I've gone my whole life without knowing... What's to say that I can't handle the rest?

On the other hand, dad could say something, and I could learn about who my mother was and possibly meet her, but then again, I've done just fine without a mother...

Or have I?

Dad came home around 7:30, the usual time he got home on Tuesdays. I kind of kept my distance, mostly because I had no idea what was coming.

"Hey, Mia... Can we talk?" my father asked.

"Yeah..." I said, cautiously, meeting my dad in the living room, "What's up?" I questioned, though I knew what was up.

"So, your grandmother called me today-at the office, I mean-and she said... you found a picture? Is this true?" My eyes shifted and I noticed my father pulling on his shirt-like he did when I fist asked about the whereabouts of my mother. I tried to ignore this, though.

I took the picture out of my pocket, and handed it to him, "I accidentally slammed by door, and the picture of the tree in the hallway fell. This photo came out of the frame..." I told my father...

"I knew that nail wasn't strong enough to withhold your teen angst..." my father sighed.

"Slamming the door was an accident, I swear..."

My dad laughed a tiny bit, "Okay, how do I explain this... I saw you googling The Connor Project, a couple weeks back, and that deserves an o explanation too..." he started.

"Do you miss him?" my father looked a bit confused, "Connor? Do you miss him?"

"I didn't exactly know him well enough to miss him..." my father confessed.

"I'm confused, I thought you guys were best friends.... That's what the articles said..." I replied.

"I was in a place where the lie was better than the reality... I couldn't find it in me to tell the truth... I guess I was... Too scared or something like that... and I lied, and I couldn't stop. I'm sorry, Mia, please don't be mad at me..."

I was mad... for about five seconds. I quickly realized that this was what went down his senior year. This was when my father had severe social anxiety, and he could barely talk to some people.

This was when my father had his broken arm from when he tried to commit suicide.

"I'm not mad... At all... I get it. You were going through some difficult times, and you didn't know what else to do..."

"Pretty much, yeah... Anyways, this... this lie started to get in my head, and I started to be a little bit of... well a jerk, I guess, to some of my friends, and your grandmother. Something got posted that really shouldn't have, and I had to confess to Connor's family... They didn't really say that it was a lie, and we took down the original website. So now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about the picture..." I could tell my father wanted to get The Connor Project explanation out of the way, "You know what this picture is, correct?"

"Yeah..." I could tell he didn't want to go into too many details either.

"Well, when you were researching The Connor Project, did you see anything about... Connor, maybe, having a sister?"

"Yeah, I remember that..."

"Well, this might be a little weird, but, um... that's your mom... we saw each other in high school, but then we, obviously, broke up, and then we got back together about a year before you were born... She wasn't in the best place to raise you, and she was kind of scared to meet you, I guess... I'll let her explain, when you meet her..."

"Wait, when I meet her?" I asked

"Do you want to meet her?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, but when?" I asked.

"Is your graduation day okay? It'll give you two a couple months to prepare, and I want her to see you graduate..."

"Yeah... Graduation sounds good..." I replied.

"Okay... Mia, I'm so sorry... I know it may feel like I've been lying to you, or I've been keeping secrets from you-and I have been keeping secrets from you-but I want you to know that I love you and I want the best for you... Mia, I can't believe I'm saying this, and don't take it the wrong way, but you were a mistake, originally... But you are probably one of the greatest things that ever happened to me, okay? Never forget that, Mia."

Dad pulled me into a hug, and this lasted a whole. It was the closest I've ever felt with my dad. It felt amazing to have a father like him.