{COMPLETED} ✔️ The Girl He Left Behind

Ten

I wake myself up around 8am because I have a massive coughing fit. So much for being better then... It takes me longer than I'd care to admit for me to realise that I'm still in bed next to Matt.

Shit.

I remember every single detail of what happened perfectly and it all comes flooding back in one big wave of emotion. I can't bring myself to look over at Matt for a while but eventually I do. He's lying on his front with one arm flung out over my stomach. He looks so cute sleeping. I lay back down slowly so I don't wake him up and then just stare at the ceiling, thinking about his fingers on my skin. I like the feeling of his hand being on my tummy, in my mind it's like he's being protective of me somehow but reality is probably completely different.

I feel him shift slightly beside me and I go into full on panic mode. What is he going to do when he wakes up? Does he even remember what happened? He was pretty drunk so it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't know. I haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing yet.

Part of me wants him to remember because regardless of what it meant to him, it still meant a lot to me. I want to know what he'll do next; will he hate me or would he kiss me for real now? The other part of me is hoping he's forgotten it all just so there's no awkwardness between us. Our friendship is already fragile and this has the potential to ruin it even more.

Suddenly, his arm that was around me is gone and I'm left feeling sort of empty. He pushes himself up slightly and I hold my breath. He squints as he looks at me and then flops back down when he realises it's me.

"Fuck." He groans. "I don't know why the hell you're in my bed but I'm not alive enough to even ask right now."

And with that, he closes his eyes and falls asleep again instantly. Pain spreads throughout my body but I tell myself I'm being stupid, it's good he didn't remember.

Still, it hurts.

I roll on to my side and run my eyes over his body. We're still quite close, close enough that I can reach out and touch him. I do, running my fingers gently over the muscles of his chest. I know I shouldn't but I just need something to make me feel close to him again. If he feels my fingers on his body then he shows no sign of it. I get a sudden burst of confidence and I let myself touch his face. I retrace my movements from last night, a part of me hoping that he'd wake up.

His eyes flicker open, searching my face for the reason I'm touching him probably. He gets this look as if he's remembered everything and I panic. This is it, he's going to either kiss me or kill me.

Our mini staring contest ends when Rachel shouts Matt's name from down the hall. I swear to God I have a heart attack at that moment. I can tell Matt panics too because both of us visably tense at the sound of her voice. Fuck. Neither of us moves for a second, both of us looking to each other for the answer to what we should do. When I hear Rachel's footsteps just outside, I shove Matt away from me and shuffle as far away from him as I can.

"Pretend to be asleep." I whisper desperately to him. He looks sort of offended, probably because I pushed him away from me. I'd never do that to Ash.

We stare at each other until we hear the door creek open and I force my eyes shut.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! NO NO NO." Rachel screams and we both pretend to wake up. Well, Matt just covers his ears and scrunches his face up in pain; hangovers are a bitch.

I look up at Rachel who looks between Matt and I with wide eyes. Oh damn. That went so well.

"Pleaseeeee tell me this isn't what I think. Please!" She begs, slapping a hand over her mouth from the surprise of seeing Matt and I in bed together. I get it, Matt and I probably haven't slept in the same bed since we were little kids so I don't blame Rachel for jumping to conclusions. It still makes me feel super uncomfortable though, I don't like being under her speculation like this.