O' I take Emotion

Poem 4

I slip

I fall

I tread in waters I shouldn't

Looking back

back into the abyss

back into the mist

above

the sea of sadness

the sea of despair

the sea of self-pity

I wallow

I wade back

back into this

pain

and

suffering

because I lived once

on the other side

the grass was greener

and I remember it

so vividly

yet I know

I can't make it

I can't make it back

ever

I know the only way is forward

yet as I stand on the beach

I look back

back into the abyss

back into the mist

back into the sea

and feel the call

I feel tug

to the land

the emerald green land on the other side

of the sea

that I can't see

the end of

yet I know the way back is impossible

and ends only in despair

and drowning once more

but with finality

 

yet as I stand on the beach

I slip

I fall back

into the sea

and wade through the mist

knowing full well the stupidity of my actions

and I turn back to the shore

but the tug is only made stronger

every time I turn

and glance back

I feel a tug

stronger than anything else

I feel a tug

back to the past

to the land of greener grass

yet I know the hope

lest in that direction

is just the hope

of a delusion

so I turn back

and make way to the beach

the sands are soggy

the sands are solemn

the sands are slow

and the choice is made like that

the choice is made in soggy clothes

as they are soaken in tears

the choice is made in solemnity

as the consequences are grave

the choice is made slowly

as the way is sluggish treacherous and hard

yet the results are three

the path is wide

yet the distance is narrow

I have three results

 

I have three results

and this is one

I can wade back, and then turn back, I can wander

and live my life lost

in self-pity

in sadness

 

I have three results

and this is one

I can wade back

and wade till

I break

in self-pity and depression

I end

 

I have three results

and this is one

I can push past the sands

and into the mist

and into the mystery ahead

and into the mystery ahead what will I find

may I find a life

I may find life

may I find a love

I may find love

may I find a hope

I may find a hope

may I find a dream

I may find a dream

may I find happiness

I may find happiness

 

I may find happiness

 

so the choice must be made

yet the strength

the time

the discipline

the steadiness

must be in sync

and this shall be my struggle

till I push past the sand

past the gradient of choices

past the gradient of pain

till I push past the sand

and plunge into the next mist

and plunge into the next mystery