Our Little Home

Chapter 11/ Alina

I was the first one to finish my exam in 3221. The professor looked at me horrifically as if I just gave up my entire college career. I smiled in return, knowing I had aced this test although it only took me like ten minutes to complete. A few students were looking at me crazy and with realization I hadn't seen Mark in his front row seat. I began to wonder if he had just given up on me or well this project at the least. Maybe he dropped, maybe he had a realization that I wasn't worth the headache I most likely gave him.

Heading out, Mark was heading into the lecture hall. Late. Really late, he was always the early one out of the two of us.

"Oh hey Alina." He said rubbing his neck looking everywhere but me.

He looked different. I couldn't grasp at what was different about him. Was it his tiredness? Or his unshaven face which always looked clean cut? His eyes were red, had he been drinking? Or smoking?

"Hey." I said in return.

"So uh how was the exam?" He asked groggily.

"I think it went well, I just finished." I said simply.

"Not surprised if you're the first one done." He said bluntly.

I wanted to ask if he was alright but instead I just closed the conversation. "Well goodluck on it."

"Thanks." He said. "Before you head out do you mind if we could finish this project?"

I looked at him, I couldn't tell if he was just tired or annoyed with me. "Sure." I said walking away.

"So I'll text you." He said as I left him alone in the hallway.

Normally he gives me eye contact which had completely made me uncomfortable. But this time he was looking everywhere but me, which really felt disappointing , I was the one searching for his eyes to meet mine. I don't know why I was bothered by his sudden change, I'm the one who had ended shit before it even escalated.

Dammit how in the hell did I become so concerned for Mark Morelli?

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Shopping use to always ease my stress back in high school but I'm starting to believe that maybe I wasn't really stressed to began with. I felt completely out of my element looking around. I didn't buy one thing at the mall. Constant guilt kept rushing over me.

I sat down in the plaza area of the mall to think. It wasn't long before I whipped my phone out shooting Mark a text. This is different, he was always the first to text me and here I am, texting the man I was so utterly confused about but cared for so much.

Me: We should talk. I'm sorry about all of this.

I sat shortly after my risky text. I think without convincing myself or fighting with myself for the first time, in a long time I made a decision. My feelings were all over the place right now.

Mark: Of course we can talk.

I smiled in return of his text. I need the light, or hope that may help me find some sort of enlightenment. Lately, it's been him that makes me laugh, smile for no reason and happy at the times I would be the most depressed.

Mark: Dinner? We can talk at dinner?

I hadn't realized that I didn't text him back.

Me: Thats fine.

I felt some relief after sending the risky text. Immediate guilt ran over me. Mark didn't have to agree to this nor did he have to text or communicate back to me.