Chapter 23

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We only spent a few days in Australia. My brother was charged with my assault. It felt quite liberating in the end. All those years I spent lying to protect him because I harboured this delusion that even though he would hit me hard enough to send me to hospital, that that's what brothers do. That he really did love me. That we were family.

Well I wasn't doing that anymore. None of those people were really my family. This little trip and finally made me really get that. I had family, people who I love and who loved me. Now it was time to add to it.

We started seeing fertility experts right away. Chris and I both had blood tests. There were semen samples taken. I had a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy. So many tests and procedures. Even with the amazing insurance Chris had we still didn't find out our results until after the New Year.

I made sure I really enjoyed this years Christmas with the Evans. Really absorbed how much love they had for each other. How they could argue but it never made them sulky or pissy. The way they playfully teased each other. How great they all were with the kids. How loud they were when they talked around dinner. I really just soaked it in. For the first time really letting myself be a part of the family and not just a minor outlier. This was what I wanted for Chris and me. I knew I would always have trouble with overthinking everything I did with our kids. But I had Chris. He was going to be a great dad and it was time to make it happen.

In the New Year we heard back that everything was fine. Our bad luck was really just that. Shitty fucking luck. So I had my implant taken out. On the way home Chris kept rubbing my leg and smiling at me.

"You excited?" I asked, taking his hand and squeezing it.

"Oh yeah. I'm totally putting a baby in you as soon as we're home." He grinned.

I laughed. "You know it was hormonal right? It takes a little while to wear off."

"Still happening." He winked.

We stopped at the pharmacy on the way home stocking up on thing like pregnancy vitamins, and ovulation and pregnancy tests.

When we got home and I had barely gotten out of the car and he was on me, spinning me into his arms and kissing me deeply. It was early January and snow laid piled high on the lawn. Only the drive was free of it after being shovelled this morning for us to leave.

"I love you so much, Em. I'm really excited that we're doing this. That from now on anytime we fuck could be the time. Ya know?" Chris said. He was holding me tightly against him and I could feel the press of his cock against my pubic mound.

"I love you too. But I'm Australian remember. If I stay out here any longer I'll freeze solid." I laughed.

Chris picked me up, tossing me over his shoulder and carrying me inside. He dropped me in the mudroom, and we took off our boots and coats. He was a little slower with his boots than I was and I straddled his lap as he sat on the wooden bench seat by the door pulling them off.

I cupped his face, my fingers pushed into his beard and I licked over his top lip. Chris looked up at me through this thick eyelashes. "If you don't get up and let me get my boot off I'm gonna fuck you here in the mudroom."

I slid off his lap in front of him and pushed myself between his legs. "Oh no." I teased, as I unfastened his fly. "Please, Mr Evans. I'm such a pure innocent thing. Don't do that to me. I only ever make love in piles and piles of soft pillows."

Chris burst out laughing. As he clutched at his chest I took his cock into my mouth. The sound of his laugh got strangled and turned into a deep moan. He pushed the hair off my face and smoothed it back, wrapping the makeshift ponytail around his fist.

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