Denial // Ed Sheeran

Chapter 3

Ed's POV...

I sat backstage, taking deep breaths. I don't know why but for some reason something is gonna happen at tonight's show and I was super nervous about it. I had never sweat so much before a show. I waited with anticipation and went over the songs in my head. I then heard the announcer, "And now here comes the all time famous, Ed Sheeran!" I smiled as I heard the screaming fans and told myself that its gonna be fun. As I went to step out my girlfriend Zoe grabbed my waist and planted a huge kiss on my lips. I whispered, "Thanks babe, I needed that." I then ran onto the stage and seated myself before bringing Nigel to my front. I quieted the stadium and started strumming, while I did so I scanned the crowd.

After a couple of songs and some chatting, something caught my eyes. I saw her, I swear I did. It was Dudz. Her style, the way she moved, her eyes. It was definitely her, yet how could it be. I was told she had died. I was told after being in a coma for 2 years, her parents had in their will that if they ever died and she had not woken, life support was cut off, yet here she was. I felt myself pale and it seemed as though I saw a ghost. I caught her stare and what seemed like ages it was just the two of us. I shook my head as I remembered Zoe. I turned my head and gave her a wink. I saw her giggle and it made me proud knowing I had that affect on her. 

Throughout the whole show I kept glancing at this girl in the crowd and I noticed a backstage pass. I instantly felt all giddy and excited for the end. As I strum the last chord, letting my voice echo around the stadium as everyone was listening intently,I glanced over and saw an emotionless expression on her face. I brushed it off and stood up then I walked backstage and was congratulated by Zoe, my manager and my team. The show was a success.

I then went and changed into my casual, baggy blue jeans and panic at the disco t-shirt before I prepared myself mentally for the screaming fans that I was to meet. As I walked into the cool hallway, I thought about what was going to happen and my mind kept giving me all these what if scenarios. I shook my head, ridding it of all the thoughts, placed a huge smile on my face and stepped through the door. I was instantly attacked by girls of all ages wanting autographs and pictures. I looked around twisting my head to and fro trying to get a look for this girl. I found her in the corner, head between her knees while a lady was reassuring her. 

After giving at least 20 minutes of my time with the fans, they all left but I told my manager to let this one stay. I wanted to talk to her. I walked up and said, "Hey, you alright? You look as though you are scared." I then held out my hand for her to take. She looked up swiftly before stretching her arm out and placing her soft, delicate hand in mine. I smiled and said, "That's it. Now what is your name?" She seemed taken aback and sat down. "You don't remember do you?" she whispered. I grew puzzled and sat on the floor cross legged in front of her. "What do you mean?" I asked. She looked up and said, "MY name is Rachel. You use to call me Dudzy, Budzy. I guess that is all over now that you are a somebody and I am a nobody." She then pulled out two books and said, "These are for you. If you remember, if you want to, you know where to find me." I watched this girl stand up and walk away.

To say I was shocked was an understatement. I was bewildered, this girl it really was Dudz, but she held no more excitement, in fact not once did she show any emotion. I was confused and so I chased after her. I yelled out for her to stop but she never did. Her nurse however did. She spun around and said, "Look Ed, she is pretty messed up at the moment and for some strange reason, she has no memories of anyone or anything except of some lake and you. I don't know what that is about but please, don't make her life worse." With that she left me and joined Dudzy in the car. 

I stood there gaping until I felt Zoe wrap her arms around me. I shrugged off the thought as to why the side of the car said, Auckland Institution for Mental Health. I went back to the hotel and that night made love to Zoe. For some strange reason though, all I could think about was the girl back at the stadium. It was definitely my first love and childhood best-friend but why now. Why now when everything is finally perfect for me does this complication have to show?

I knew what I had to do so during the early hours of the day, I went for a run, where my feet took me, was something I did not know, well not until I stood outside the institute. I ran up to the front door and entered. I then asked the front desk to see Rachel. I had a feeling she was here. They let me in and walked me to her room. I knocked softly, knowing I would wake her up as she was always a good sleeper but what I saw next shocked me. There was Rachel sitting at the window. She had black bags under her eyes and I knew she not once had slept. Her hair was a mess and it looked as though she had thrown a tantrum.

I walked up and hugged her. She seemed taken aback but then sunk into my hug. After staying there for what felt like an eternity, We sat on her bed and she explained to me her whole story. I felt bad about leaving her but how could it be helped. I was told she was dead yet here she was. I started crying at the thought that she was never to feel emotions again. She had been traumatized. I then left the room, knowing I had to go find my manager at the hotel. I found him and discussed an extra week's holiday to spend in Whitianga. Zoe was not pleased but right now it is what I wanted, what I needed. I then discussed things with the institute. It was official I was going back home. 

When I got there, I saw my farmhouse which was still burnt and walked up the stairs of the house I had also grown up with. I walked in and hugged Amy. It had been awhile. I could hear the grumbles of Zoe as she was use to living in the top 5 star places not a grungy old farm. I then heard the vehicle pull up that carried the one and only Dudz. 

I then found my room and helped Zoe get there. Her mumbles and grumbles really got on my nerves. After getting her settled I went for a walk to find Rachel. I walked to her room and saw her settling in. I whispered a hi and sat down. She did a weird look with her face which looked like she was trying to smile but it failed. I just sat there watching her, studying her every move, trying to figure out this miracle.

After dinner, I decided to go for a walk, alone. I ended up on top of the cliff. I looked out towards the endless ocean and yelled out, "Why me??" I then fell to the ground and buried my head into my hands, as I did so, I slipped and I fell. I thought it was going to be the end but fate had it that I landed on the platform that was the entrance to our cave. I walked inside and smiled at the beauty of it. I knew that this beauty was timeless. I felt like I was 16 all over again as I leap, pranced and spin all over the place. I stop when I notice a figure watching me. It was Dudz and so I ran and hugged her. 

I then pulled out our song book and together we sat in the middle of this beautiful hideout and we sung. Just like old times. Her voice was more angelic than ever. I realized that my feelings for her were still there but sadly, her feelings were no more. It hurt me to realize that I loved someone who could not love. But then why should it stop us. So I kissed her. It just happened. Our lips met and I felt tingles, sparks, fireworks that exploded all around. It was perfect.