Walk in the light: Legend novella

June (9)

June

0716 hours, July 12

Ruby sector, Los Angeles

68° F indoors

I was dumbfounded. I mentally cursed myself for being so careless, so caught up in the moment that I could have made such a mistake. I bowed my head down, not letting him see the panic that was evident. I knew I couldn't cover up.

"I- I don't kn-" He raised a hand up, stopping me.

"Don't try to deny it, I know exactly what I heard."

"Daniel-"

"No. "

"You didn't even know what I was going to say."

"You were going to deny it."

"But-"

"Look, I'm not mad okay?" I wasn't sure if I believed him, he must have sensed this because his tone softened. "Look at me." Day commanded in a voice that sounded exactly like what he would use to apologize to me before.

Surprised, I lifted my head up and saw his muscles relaxed, not tense as one would be in anger.

"I'm not mad." He repeated. "So you don't have to deny it."

"Then....." I trailed off, not sure how to phrase my question. But Day still knew me well enough subconsiencely that he didn't need me to finnish.

"I go by Daniel now, Day was a name I developed in the slums." He explained. "But.....for some reason hearing you say 'Day' just sounds .......right. Is that strange?" He studied me with those bright blue eyes of his, sweeping his gaze across my face.

I was silent for quite a while, pondering this. He wanted me to call him 'Day'. Just like before. I was half hoping this was a dream, since in dreams the consequences were almost nonexistant, but in reality....I could lose everything again. Despite the risks I found myself whispering:

"No, that's not strange at all." His lips curved up. Seeing him look content sparked something in me that made me return the smile. Then his faded. I sensed a higher mountain after this hill.

"So, did you give the ring to me?" He asked as he fingered the paper clip ring, somehow it still fit perfectly. Watching him hold such a symbol of our love touched my heart. I was silent again, weighing the options, I knew that one question would lead to another. And I had no idea if I was ready to say the right things. He must have took my silence as hesitation since he continued, "It's just that I can't shake the feeling that you......are the one. The person that Eden wouldn't tell me about."

"I did." I answered evenly, as if it wasn't that big of a deal, but it was a bigger deal than anything that I could name at the moment. He nodded, expecting my answer.

"Then........were you the one?" The person that he talked about, that his brother hid from him. The person that left him, with one last look of him folded in her heart. One of the closest people to him, for a time, yet didn't even know his favorite color. Who knew his story better than almost anyone, who knows his fears and what his nightmares are about. The person he dared to trust, despite all the things she had already done. The person he choose over anyone else, even when the odds were highly against them. The person he would fight his instinct and anger for. The person he lied to, for her own good. The person he would die for.

The person he loved.

"Yes." I replied, in an almost inaudible whisper. His eyes shinned.

"Really?" Day asked, though he already knew.

"Yes." I confirmed again, not wanting to lose him, though I didn't deserve him. Nor him the pain I caused.

"You're the reason." He said to himself, before I could ask what he meant, he spoke again. "You're special. I...I find myself thinking about you all the time. I know it has been such a short time since we've met but.......it is such a long time since I last saw you. For some reason, every time I think about you, I just feel something pulling me. A feeling so strong. So sure, and pure. Just, I have to ask....did- were we.........in love?"

This is the moment I had been dreading. Despite the fact that I had trained my whole life to be calm and have total control of the situation, somehow in this critical moment I failed. Realizing that I couldn't stop the hope that had been boiling inside me anymore, I told him.

"Yes, Day. We were in love." As soon as the words escaped me he sat back into the couch, his weight making him sink deeper into the foam cushion. He didn't say anything for a while, taking it all in. I couldn't bring myself to study his face, I knew my mind would go into overdrive trying to decipher and predict his thoughts, but I was barely able to handle my own feelings at the moment.  Not daring to be the one to break the silence, I drowned myself in it.

Finally he spoke, his tone slightly hopeful.

"Then, will you tell me what happened during the year we spent together?"

There was that tsunami wave, it hit me with a magnified force. And now Day's hopeful bright blue eyes burned into me, as if he could see my soul. As if he could read me like a book that was much too interesting and held way too many secrets. But it was true, I did have his secrets. I kept our secret for ten years. Alone, never letting it see the light. Never trying to contact him, always watching and never to interfere. But, I never stopped caring. I wasn't ready for this challenge, ten years had not built a strong enough wall in my heart. I couldn't believe that I had made my mistake this early.

"Day-" He could already hear the let down in my voice.

"Please?" He pleaded. I felt my teeth sink into my bottom lip.

"Just go ask Eden-"

"He wasn't with me the whole time, you were."

"How do you know?"

"I can tell, besides it's true isn't it?" The look in my eyes told him so.

"June, please. I need to know, there are so many things that they can't tell me, that they weren't there for. There's a feeling in me that tells me that only you can give me my story back. Dosen't a man deserve to know his past?" He reasoned.

"Day, I just-"

"Please," He begged, his tone not like any other I've heard him use before. "It has been killing me since day one. I woke up, not knowing anything that happened. I saw visions of my family dying. The one thing that I was happy about was seeing my brother. Everything was so new, my surroundings and my place in society. I adopted life in Antarctica fast but the enigma has been sitting in a dark corner in my heart. A dark place. If you cared about me, tell me. "

My chest tightened at the strain in his voice. It killed me to not tell him, but I simply could not.

"I did care, and I do......but- I ....I can't. I can't, I'm sorry, Day." I watched as he rose from his seat dejectedly and walked towards the door. He needed to distance himself from me in his disappointment.

"Please, June?" His tone told me that he had already lost hope, hope that was taken away by me. I looked out the window, refusing to meet his gaze. I forced myself to focus on the bright noon sunshine and joyous people walking freely in the streets as I tried not to see all the memories of the time we spent together flash before me.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." I couldn't watch his reactions as I told him about the truth and the pain that I had caused him. I couldn't watch as he would shout at me, calling me a murderer. Saying that if it wasn't for me, his family wouldn't be dead. I couldn't stand to see how much despair that would plunge him in, as his memories would rush back. It was all true, and I would have to take it, word for word. It would kill me. I was conceded, I know, but I simply couldn't.

"Fine," Day swung the door open. At the last second he turned back to me and added, in a tone devoid of emotion, "see you soon".

The moment the door slammed shut I collapsed onto the couch.

Then the tears -that I had held in for ten years- began to fall.

**********

I know the recording would arrive at his place today, at exactly what hour and what minute. Heck, I even calculated down to the second the package would arrive at their apartment. I just didn't know if he would watch it or not. But one thing was certain: he would hate me after he did.

The package held a video recording of me, in as much detail as I could, filling him in on our past.