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Chapter Ninteen

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

No matter how many times I tell Daniel  and the boys that driving me to JTB's campus is entirely unnecessary, they insist.

Yesterday was my first look into what the boys do while they're at home. The day consisted of lots of laughter, random video taking, music playing at almost all times, and messing around with instruments. I loved getting to know the boys more, but was honestly too distracted- thinking about orientation- to enjoy any of it.

What in the world am I supposed to wear to an orientation day? I tap my foot on the floor as I stare into the small closet in my room, looking over my choices. I finally decide on what I hope is acceptable and walk to the bathroom to change since my room doesn't have a door.

Thirty minutes later, the boys and I have climbed into the car they share, and usually don't use, while they're here in L.A. Jonah is driving, Corbyn's in the front seat next to him, Daniel and I are sitting in the middle row, and Zach and Jack are in the row behind is.

My stomach flips with anxiousness. 

Who am I going to meet? How difficult will the classes be? What if I don't meet anyone I'm comfortable with while I'm there? Is my work less advanced than others? What if I'm already behind? What if—

Stop.

I force myself to take deep breaths and focus my attention on the chaotic streets of L.A. outside the window.

I close my eyes once my leg starts bouncing, another side effect of the storm of emotions coursing through my body, desperate to find a way out.

Dear God, please ease my nerves and use what gifts you have given me in order to work for and serve Your Kingdom. I'm anxious and afraid, but I know you're in control.

I open my eyes once again just as Daniel touches my arm with his hand.

"Are you okay?" he says quietly.

I offer him a small smile and nod.

"Yes, just nervous. This may very well be the start of my entire future."

He doesn't respond or say anything else for awhile.

"Please don't worry," he finally says, very seriously. "If you worry, I worry."

My heart flutters just because he cares so much.

"I'm trying not to, I really am. I'm not perfect, you know."

He opens his mouth to say something, but Jonah intercedes.

"We're here!" he exclaims, stopping the car in front of JTB's huge front doors.

"Guys," I say, gaining all of their attention. "All I can say is thank you. For everything. I'm here because of you. Your kindness is unlike any I've known anyone to have and it's so inspiring, so thank you. I'm here because of you."