College Boy (Josh Sobo FanFiction)

Chapter 10

The next day Josh follows me back to my dorm after class is over and we study together. Kind of wondering why he cares so much about my self harm but I don't bother actually asking him again. I don't want him to say he loves me when I know he doesn't. I don't wan to be hurt again. 

Josh wraps his arm around me and says, "So, how are you. You know with your self harm..." He sounds like he doesn't want to bring it up but I know he really wants to know how I'm doing so I just ramble off some random positive words so I don't disappoint him. 

"That's great, see I told you that you didn't need them." He says hugging me tightly. I show him a fake smile and go back to reading out of my textbook. "Hey," He continues, "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." 

He gives me a genuine smile and then writes something down on a piece of paper. He hands it to me and it reads, "you don't need it :) - josh". 

"What's this for?" I ask waving the paper in the air.

"It's for whenever you feel like you need to... you know, cut. So you know that you don't need your blades or anything else like that." He says keeping that same smile on his face. I hug him and kiss him on the cheek. 

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It's midnight and I can't seem to fall asleep. I get up out my bed and open up my closet, getting down on my hands and knees and reach for a shoe box that's not in its place. I hit the floor and silently curse to myself. 

I put on flip flops and throw on a hoodie before leaving my dorm. I walk across the street to the local grocery store and walk in. Thank god for 24 hour service. I go down the isle with razors and grab a cheap pack then go to the checkout lane. I head back to my dorm and lock myself in the bathroom.

I open up my blades and they all spill onto the floor. I grab one and take the blade out of the razor. I graze it on the surface of my skin, hesitating. I finally build up enough courage and let the blade cut into my skin.