Message In A Bottle ↬Markson

Chapter 21

Jackson wakes up after a short nap. Though he can't really call it a nap as he kept tossing and turning. He didn't really sleep, he fell asleep but woke up after 20 minutes, then fell asleep again after tossing and turning some more and so it went on for a couple of hours. Every time he woke up his head was throbbing with a horrible headache.

Jackson felt frustrated because he couldn't sleep well. Every time he woke up again he felt his head aching and the tears almost fell down his cheeks again. He tries to keep it in for the sake of Mark. He doesn't want to burden his boyfriend with all his feelings. All Jackson wants is for this to be over, though he also knows this is just the beginning.

Mark is awake all the time and he watches Jackson rest in his arms. He brushes his hand through his boyfriend's hair and he says some sweet and calming things to Jackson when he sees that Jackson is awake.

When Jackson decides to give up on taking a nap, Mark hugs him a little tighter. "We are going to go through this together baby, I will be here every step of the road. No matter what, I will be here." He says and kisses Jackson's forehead softly.

"I know, I just can't believe this happened. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe I will never see him again." He tries to hold himself back from crying. A tear slips from his eye.

"Oh, baby, it's okay. Shh." Mark tries to shush him. He pulls Jackson up in a sitting position and he sits up himself aswell. Jackson embraces Mark with both of his arms and he hides his face in the crook of Mark's neck, pulling himself up into Mark's lap as he cries. Mark embraces Jackson tightly as he rocks them back and forth, petting his back.

"I just can't believe he is gone. I loved him so much. Now he is just gone, I can never do anything with him again, Mark. I can't see him. I can't touch him. I can't tell him about you. He can't meet you. I can't tell him about my life, about my struggles. I can't tell him how much I love him. I can't tell him how thankful I am for him." Jackson sobs through his words.

"I know baby, I know. It isn't easy. I know how you feel. I know it might seem like he is gone. In a way he is, but he will always stay here." Mark pulls away, his left hand supporting Jackson's waist. He lifts his left hand up to Jackson's chest and points at Jackson's heart. He draws a heart with his index finger on the place where Jackson's heart is. Mark stares at Jackson, as Jackson stares at Mark's finger on his chest. Jackson is still sobbing and he lets out another broken cry as Mark traces the heart on his chest. He watches the finger make the shape over again. He watches his tears fall on Mark's finger.

"He will always stay there." Mark says softly. Mark has tears in his own eyes. He knows how it is to be in Jackson's state. He knows how it is to loose someone so close to you, to cry your eyes out until there are no tears left. He looks at his boyfriend who is still looking at his finger, which is still tracing the pattern on his heart.

Mark moves his index finger to lift Jackson's chin. He cups Jackson's right cheek and wipes Jackson's tears. He repeats the action a couple of times making sure to make his cheek dry. He does the same to his other cheek. Jackson has calmed down a little bit but he is still crying. Jackson tries to catch his breath while still letting some tears fall.

"I just can't believe it. He has been taken away from me so fast. I didn't even get to say goodbye." Jackson mutters.

"You will get that chance sweetheart. When everything is resolved and those criminals are in jail. You can say goodbye to him at his funeral."

"I know, but that seems so far away. What if the case never gets solved? What if the funeral isn't satisfying enough? I maybe never be able to say goodbye to him. It perhaps will never feel that way."