Up All Night // phan

Fourteen

  Dan woke up to someone trying to break his damn door down.

  Seriously? Now is not the time. He thought. He groaned and rolled out of the bed, pulling on some sweatpants and going to see who it was.

  Opening the door, he saw PJ standing there, staring at him, sadness in his eyes.

  "PJ? What're you doing here, what time is it?" Dan asked, rubbing his head.

  "Hey, uh... it's almost 3 in the afternoon. Did I wake you up?" PJs voice was very quiet, almost a whisper.

  "You did, but it's okay, I needed to wake up. You wanna come in?"

  PJ smiled and stepped into the living room while Dan went into the kitchen. "You want something to drink or something?" he called out, but PJ rejected. Dan grabbed a glass of water and headed back into the front room, sitting on the couch next to PJ. They sat there in silence for a few minutes before PJ spoke.

  "I just...wanted to apologize. For earlier. You were right, I was only mad about Chris and I took it out on you."

  Dan looked at him. "It's alright, PJ, you don't have to-"

  "It's not alright, Dan!" PJ cut him off, yelling now. "I was so stupid, thinking I could just forget about Chris. I don't blame you for wanting me to be Phil, I know you like him. And I hit you, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."

  "PJ, please don't-"

  "I'm really confused, Dan, I'm going fucking crazy. I've loved Chris for years, and when I finally get the balls to tell him, he completely ignores it and tells me to leave. I haven't talked to Phil in so long, not since we first met you. When I was broken, I just... I thought I only had you left. To talk to. I don't even know why I kissed you! I was messed up, I just wanted to feel like someone cared."

  PJ was full on crying now, and he had stood up, pacing the floor.

  "You really don't have to-" Dan said, but PJ continued talking, completely ignoring Dan.

  "Chris hates me, Phil hates me, you hate me. I just, I can't handle all this stress and-"

  "Dammit PJ, please shut the fuck up for a second!" Dan shouted. PJ stopped and looked at Dan, tears still streaming down his face. "Sorry, just, please listen to me. I don't hate you, and neither do Chris and Phil. None of this is your fault, they don't even know we kissed. There's no reason to be upset, okay?" PJ nodded and smiled.

  "Thanks, Dan. For making me feel better."

  "No problem, Peej."

  He started laughing and soon enough, Dan joined in.

  "Sorry for being so over dramatic." PJ said. Dan shook his head.

  "No problem."

  "So, how are things with Phil?"

  Dan looked away. "Not too good. We kind of had a fight.  Stupid,  really."

  PJ touched his shoulder lightly. "Hey, don't worry about it. You could be like me and Chris." He laughed.

  "I am sorry it didn't work out between you two." Dan said. He hadn't said it before, cause PJ was busy sucking face with him.

  "Thanks, mate. It's no big deal..." But it seemed like a big deal. PJ had this sadness in his eyes that seemed as if it would never go away. And Chris had caused that. Dan didn't like it one bit, and he was surprised to find he sort of hated Chris for doing this to his friend.

  He wouldn't tell PJ that, though. He obviously still had feelings for the boy, and he didn't want to insult him.

  "Are....are we okay, Dan?" PJ asked suddenly. Dan looked at him, confused. "I mean, the whole kissing thing, just... can we forget about it? Go back to being friends?"

  "Of course." Dan replied. He was extremely glad that him and PJ were back to normal. "And that slap really hurt." he said, rubbing his face. He wasn't lying, it did still sting.

  PJ laughed. "Sorry. Guess I don't know my own strength." They both laughed again, enjoying the rebuilt friendship between them.

  Then, PJ reached out and lightly touched Dan's cheek. The laughter had died down, and they sat in silence, PJ still holding Dan's face. Slowly, very slowly, he leaned over and brushed his lips against the slightly red mark he had left. Dan didn't move an inch, his breathing becoming heavier.

  "Really sorry..." PJ breathed against Dan's cheek, then pulled back abruptly. Smiling, he stood and walked back towards the front door. "I'll, uh, call you later?" he said, and just like that, he was gone.

  Dan had no idea what had just happened, but for some reason, it gave him a warm feeling in his stomach.

  I don't have....feelings for PJ? He thought. It wasn't possible, he still loved Phil.

  But he'd had way more action from Peej than he'd ever get from Phil, he knew. And anyway, Phil wasn't even speaking to him anymore. Yeah, it was his fault, but still.

  He'd just.....see where things went. With Phil and PJ.

                   **************

  a/n:

I wasn't planning on doing any KickTheFire, but hey, I'm out of ideas.