Dear Diary

Day 10

10 things you're grateful for

Dear Diary,
                       Thank the Lord for this topic!
I'm sure that you think of me as the whiniest girl alive. I swear I'm not, these topics just hit me in all the wrong places.

Places where I bleed too easily.

But for the past few days, I haven't been as miserable.
I feel like I am letting go of some of my luggage and it feels truly awesome.

The universe has always sent some pretty negative stuff my way, and for that I've always hated it.
But it also seldom gave me good stuff, and today I want to thank the universe.

1. I am grateful for me - I don't care what other people think, I love myself and no amount of pain can change that. People say hurtful words so easily and I can bet you a hundred bucks that the same people won't be able to walk for five minutes in my shoes, without tripping. I am proud of myself for coping with my life, whichever way it might be. I am alive and I know I can make a difference as long as I'm breathing. Call me self obsessed, I don't give a flying shit.

2. I am grateful for music - Music is my happy place, it is a place that has never disappointed me. I can put on my headphones and escape reality, and who loves reality anyway?

3. I am grateful for money - Now hold up before you start asking me greedy! When I say money, I mean that I'm grateful that we have enough money to own a house, a bed to sleep on and food to eat. As little as it may be, it's more than many and for that I'm thankful.

4. I am grateful for books - I love my music and my books equally. They transfer somewhere that is not here, somewhere so gorgeous that I can't help but break out into a smile. It's a peaceful place.

5. I am grateful for adversity - Without adversity, I would have never known what happiness felt like. Adversity is both a blessing and a curse, it's your choice which one you want it to be.

6. I am grateful for my mother - I don't care if she's an alcoholic and I don't care if she's insensitive. I only care that she's alive and with me and as long as we're both alive, I will keep trying to make our relationship better

7. I am grateful for Brandon - We might not be a couple or whatever, but I am glad he's my friend. He's the only thing that makes me smile and laugh and I know he genuinely cares about me.

8. I am grateful for my brother - We might not have talked in years (except the annual Christmas and birthday card of course) but I love Luke. He was the best big brother any girl could ask for. I hope he is happy and I hope he misses me as much as I miss him

9. I am grateful for cameras - I need to hug the guy who invented cameras. This might seem crazy to you but when you lose someone so close to you then their pictures are the only thing left with you. You look at a picture and you're taken back to the moment your face split into a grin, to the moment you couldn't help but capture. They're a blessing, I tell you!

10. I am grateful for love - No matter what happened with Travis, the time we dated was the best of my life. I'm glad I got to experience love and I'm glad that sometime in my life I will taste what love feels like, again.