Dear Diary

Day 23

Write 5 facts about yourself, 2 things you dislike and 3 things you like about yourself. Don't be shy!

Dear Diary,
During this challenge, week after week, I have pointed out how much certain people mean to me, whether living or dead.

And surprisingly enough, through this whole journey I feel like I know myself better too.

I guess it truly is "self discovery"

I can't wait to rub that in Brandon's face!

So here are five facts about me:

1- I have venephobia
Venephobia is when you are scared of veins, yes it actually exists, no matter how absurd.
I just look at them and I feel like they'll burst out or something and even thinking about that is making me shudder right now.

2- I originally had two siblings
Me and Luke were supposed to have an elder brother but he was never born. Our mom had a miscarriage when she was 6 months along.
To think that I would've had another brother is actually cool.
But not all good things come true.

3- I'm naturally a redhead
As I mentioned before, I dye my hair blonde and my natural hair color is red. I also have to get a keratin treatment to keep my hair this sleek. My natural hair is very frizzy and if I had kept my original hair, I would've looked like some badass rockstar.

4- I have a decent singing voice
When I was younger, my whole family believed that my future lied in music because I was so dedicated to my singing. I still sing and play my guitar, but not very often, only when I'm really bored. I guess, like many other of my hobbies, I moved on from music too

5- I was very healthy when I was born
I weighed 12 pound and for a while during childbirth, my mom couldn't see. Even the doctors and nurses were surprised at how big I was.

Two things I dislike about myself:

1- I wait for others to solve the argument
Just like me and Luke, I could be the bigger person and contact him but I don't.
Because?
I don't know.
It's like I'm wired this way, to always depend on others to solve the problem even though I'm equally at fault.
I mean, I don't hesitate while apologizing but I usually delay confrontation as much as I can.

2- I can't let go
It's so damn hard for me to let go. There is so much I store in my brain, it's actually unhealthy.

I should get over Travis's death, over my dad's death, over Luke, over my mom's drinking but I just can't seem to do it.

No matter how hard I try to push it away, it always comes back full force.

Three things you like about yourself:

1- I'm strong
I may be very complaining and even annoying but I also am strong as fuck.
Half of the people who snort over my sadness, wouldn't even be able to live in my world of silence and darkness for one damn day!
I survived most of my monsters and I'm so proud of myself for that.

2- I'm smart
I like that I'm not completely horrible when it comes to studies.
Even if I don't study that well, I can still get a pretty decent grade and I appreciate that about myself.
And no, it's not that I just gave a good memory (because that is what schools these days actually test instead of intelligence) it's that I am actually smart.

3- My clothing style
Dear God, I sound so big headed!

I like that I can pull off many clothes even though I'm uncomfortable in them. I like what I buy and what I wear so I'll just pat myself on the back for that!

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Fun fact: 2 of the 5 facts about Veronica are actually true for me too.

Any guesses about which 2 facts are true for me!?