The Super Dead Brother Games

Day Three - Gonna Fight For Love

APPROXIMATELY, THOUGH NOT EQUAL TO, TWELVE HOURS EARLIER

"Hoooold up a sec." Spencer inhaled the air from his bong, which had somehow made its way through security. "Maybe you like Lily, but have you ever considered..." He paused and stared at the ground blankly, and dropped his voice to a whisper. "The Illuminati is real." Then he looked up again and stared at Jeremy. "What was I saying again?"

"Something about me liking Lily a-"

"Oh yeah." He paused, this time gathering his thoughts instead of losing them. "Have you ever considered that I like her too?"

"I said I loved her."

"Same thing." Spencer picked up Lily's hand and kissed it.

"Wait, what?" Lily pulled her hand away. "Guys, it's-"

A LITTLE BIT BEFORE THE PRESENT TIME

"So, Lily, have you chosen yet?"

"Jeez, guys. Give me some time to think!"

Lily was an accidental drug dealer, not someone who became part of unnecessary heterosexual love triangles! She didn't want to be part of this and the sooner she could get out of it, the better. Also? She didn't want to get married. She was only, like, 20! Lily ran up the stairs to her room and jumped face first onto her bed, not seeing her roommate on the bed next to her.

"Hermione!" An old man's voice came from her left. "Is that you?"

She looked up, finally seeing the old man across from her. His name was Clyde or something? Dominus Apis had told everyone last night.

"It's been a while!" Clyde got up slowly and went to hug her.

He fell over.

Lily stopped him as he fell and put him upright again. "I'm not H-"

"How's Ron doing?" Clyde interrupted.

Ugh. Now she would have to fake a relationship with a fictional character she didn't even like, and she'd have to get her story sorted.

Wait.

Relationship?

The idea struck Lily suddenly. She was going to get relationship advice from this demented old man, and it was a brilliant plan.

Well. Maybe it wasn't. But hey. There were two guys who both wanted to date her standing a little outside the door (she was pretending she couldn't see them, but they were there) and the only other person she could talk to was this old man.

Besides, if she mucked it up he'd forget in about five minutes anyway.

"Actually, me and Ron broke up."

"Oh, Hermione, that's terrible." Clyde hugged Lily, patting her back softly. It was kinda creepy, because he was an old man, but because he was an old man it wasn't really creepy because he had no ulterior intentions. Also, the guy thought he was Harry Potter.

Clyde stopped patting her and stepped back again. "Why?"

"It just..." She sighed, trying to sell her act. "...wasn't working out." Lily shugged and looked to Clyde. "But speaking of relationships." She explained the Spencer-and-Jeremy situation.

"Well, if I were you," Clyde advised. "I'd choose the one I loved."

"And if I don't love either of them? Or even want to marry either?"

"Then don't! Is it really that difficult?"

"Huh." Lily smiled. "Thanks, Clyde. Uh, Harry."

"That's..." Clyde looked confused. "...not my name."