Day Five - You Know, We're Not Related

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"Hey, Sad. Look at this clock."

On their bedside table laid a clock. Its digits were lit up in red.

"It's just a clock."

"It ticks backwards!" Dead threw the clock in the air and caught it. "I'm gonna take this downstairs and show everyone."

The clock just kept ticking. 5:59:48. 5:59:47. 5:59:46.


"I want you to listen carefully, son. This is the story of how I met your mother."

Dominus Apis sighed and tried to appear enthusiastic. "Sure. I'm listening."

Clyde sat forward in his armchair. "So it started out in a pub. Nice night of drinking, Irish music, salad... Me n' my mates were just chillin' and then..." Clyde's face contorted in confusion. "I think we ate some bad salad or something? Anyway, next thing I know, I've got some magic beans in my hand and there's a hole in the ground."


Jack leant back and stared dreamily into the sky. Was this really the first time he had told Luke about this? Eh. It didn't matter.

"And then I put the beans into the ground. Suddenly, a huge stalk grew out of the ground and I climbed up. I found myself in this kingdom in the clouds! And while I was walking through the clouds, trying to work out where I was, I was swallowed whole by a wolf."


Dead rushed down to the kitchen. Lily and Spencer were sitting there taking turns to pour cereal straight from the bag into their mouths. A faint cloud of smoke floated above them.

Dead dropped the clock on the table. "Guys! Guys! This clock ticks backwards!"

Lily pushed her seat back. If this thing was going to explode, it was going to explode away from her.

"And, uh, you're sure it's not a bomb?"

"No! It's a clock, uh." He pointed to Spencer. "What's your name?"

"Spencer."

"Okay, Spencer. It is 100% definitely, absolutely a clock." Dead swiped the clock from the table and headed into the lounge.


Anon slid down the bannister. Hell yes, pony marathon, continued, all day, uninterrupted-

"And then she cut the wolf open with a chainsaw, freed me and seven other people, and cleaned the chainsaw. And that, Luke, is how I met your mother."

"Padme?"

"Who's that?" Clyde shook his head. "Don't be silly son, your mother's name is Mary."

Did this mean bad things for the ponies? This was bad. Anon needed to get them out of the common room.


"You're starting dinner already?"

Marilyn walked into the kitchen, yawning. Ashlee was standing at the counter, already covered in flour. She nodded.

"Nobody else is going to do it. I'm making pizza."

Marilyn sat at the table with a bowl of cereal. "Cool. What ones you planning on making?"

"Well I was thinking I'd do a-"

The next thirty words sounded like gibberish to Marilyn. She doubted they were English. Half of them could be passed off as the language of eldritch abominations.

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