Say Something (Lams, Mute!Alex)

Chapter 19

(Alex's POV)

His words kept echoing in my head. "I know ASL. So tell me whoreson." Whoreson. "I know all about your past you bastard immigrant." Bastard. Immigrant. Whoreson. How did he find out about all of this? Did I really want to know? No. I just didn't want him telling anyone. People would judge me. Others would pity me. The rest would probably bully me. All in all, it wouldn't go over well. Not to mention, what John would think... Of all people, I really didn't want him to judge me. If he knew the truth, he'd leave me. Everyone would leave me. I didn't want to lose the only friends I've ever had. 

But I couldn't just give Reynolds what he wanted. I couldn't bend to his every will. That would only make me look weak. And I wasn't weak. At least, not in the eyes of others. And I had to keep that persona. Because bullies feed on the weak. I just had to keep playing the strong, independent, silent smart boy everyone thought I was. 

And I didn't even hear John come in. I was just staring at the wall with all these thoughts racing through my head. Then he startled me by saying "Hey, Lex, what's wrong?" I shook my head, not wanting to explain any of this to him. He'd leave me if he found out. "You can tell me if something's bothering you, ya know," he said, southern accent slipping just a bit. 

I really can't tell you, John. Not if I don't want you to hate me just like everyone in the Caribbean did. "It's really nothing. Just Reynolds being himself," I signed, hoping he'd be satisfied with that response and that he'd just leave me to my thoughts. I should have known better than that, though.

"What did he do?" he pressed.

He only found out about my life and is threatening to expose me to the whole school. No big deal. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me." He sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around me. Though I wanted to be left alone, I instinctively leaned into the touch. My spirits raised just a little bit as he pecked my cheek. "You can talk to me about anything."

Not about this, John. But I know you aren't going to let it drop unless you get some sort of answer. "He just threatened me with something. It doesn't matter." A wave of fear washed over me as I realized what I just said, well, signed, and my walls slipped just a bit, allowing him to read my emotions if he was paying attention, but only for a second.

"What did he threaten you with?" he asked, concerned. Of course he wouldn't leave this alone.

"Nothing important. Just let it go." I really was not expecting that to work. But he nodded and held me. Cuddling into his side, I felt myself growing tired. I was on the verge of sleep when I felt John pick me up and carry me to my room. He put one of his blankets over me, which I happily accepted. It was 54 degrees (Fahrenheit because I'm American and am currently too lazy to convert to Celsius, so deal with it), and to me, that was freezing. I curled up into the blanket and fell asleep. I mean, it's not like I've been secretly staying up all night for the past week, I have no clue what you're talking about.

The next morning, John made sure I ate something, which was fine, I guess. I ate and then left, going through most of my classes without a problem. There was a little trouble in my required science class, but nothing I couldn't handle. But then I was just trying to get back to the dorms when the last person I wanted to see shoved me to the ground. 

"Did you change your mind about telling me, bastard?" he growled.

I shook my head, biting my lip as I didn't move, just staring at the ground. There wasn't any way I was going to give him what he wanted. Even if that meant getting hurt. 

"Talk to me, whoreson," he said, kicking me in the stomach. I let out a small groan. "What? Aren't you going to fight back? I thought you were a fighter!" He laughed and kicked me again. "C'mon, get up and fight me!" I just stayed there and took the blows, tears starting to form in my eyes, as he stopped and knelt down in front of me. "Pathetic. Why don't you just run back where you came from? Oooh, wait, you can't. Well then why not just do the world a favor and leave? No one cares about you. Why would they? You're just a bastard, orphan, son of a whore who should have never been born." And with that, he straightened up and left. 

I lay there for a few minutes, just trying not to cry. I couldn't cry. Crying was a sign of weakness. I had to play it strong. I needed to keep it together. I carefully picked myself up and started walking back to the dorms. However, I couldn't keep the tears at bay, and they started to spill as I got into the building and started climbing the stairs. I slowly opened the door to the dorm and John was on the couch, watching a movie. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He was going to see me crying. Sure enough:

"Alex, hey what's wrong?" I shook my head, not even wanting to think about it, but he was persistent this time. He spoke in a bit more of a commanding voice. "Alex. Tell me what's wrong. Right now."

"It's just Reynolds. I can handle it." No I couldn't. And I knew that too. But I needed to play strong. You know what would help? If I could stop crying.

"Obviously not if you're letting him get to you like this. Tell me what he's doing. Is he hurting you?" Oh, John. Always so concerned about others. But I don't want to get you mixed up in this. I shook my head, lying. "Then what's he doing? Tell me." I could see how concerned he was, but I just couldn't tell him. That would require telling him about my past. And no one could love a son of a whore.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. If it's making you cry, then it matters a lot, Alex." Please, stop being concerned about me. I'm not someone worth being concerned about. 

I sniffed and wiped my eyes, trying to stop the tears, at least for now. "He just brought up a sensitive topic, that's all. I can handle it. Don't worry about it." I managed to pull myself together as I signed that.

"You know I'm not going to let this go, right? You know I'm going to keep asking and pressing until you tell me."

"Yeah, I know." And with that, I went to my bed and opened up my laptop. It was time to write my way out of yet another scenario. At least it was better than the other alternative...

~~

Hola Mishamigos! You can thank HamilPhan1 for this update! I couldn't decide what to update, and they told me Say Something, so here you go fren! 

So this is basically the other chapter in Alex's POV, if you didn't figure that out already. So, who wants to kill Reynolds with me? 

I hope you liked the chapter, and if you did, be sure to subscribe and PUNCH that vote button IN THE FACE! Okay, until next time. Adios, Mishamigos.

~MishaIsOurOverlord1