Something Real | MakoHaru

no makeup

you're already beautiful the way you are

   Nagisa always knew Rei loves beautiful things.

   He knew he'll love to see a beautiful form in swimming.

   He knew he'll calculate everything to see something beautiful.

   He knew he'll praise everything that's beautiful in his sight.

   But the only thing that Nagisa is anxious about is that he always thinks he isn't beautiful. Not at all.

   That's why he's either putting makeup or masks whenever his husband is not around. He would rush to the bathroom to wash his face whenever he heard the door clicking.

   For almost a year, Nagisa had a ridiculous secret. Their three-year old daughter Reisa would asked what the green-colored substance was on his face as she'd see him putting it everytime her dad is on work. Nagisa would explain that it was to make papa beautiful, and warned her not to tell his husband.

   Every night whenever Rei is asleep, he'd slowly get up and tiptoe to the bathroom, where he'd quietly put on a mask on his face cautiously, fearing that his husband will wake up anytime.

   Nagisa became so engrossed o his beauty he neglected proper sleep.

   The Hazuki-Ryuguzaki household have the typical mornings; breakfast is served and cooked by Nagisa himself, papers are placed on the table as Rei is a mathematics teacher, and they then both send Reisa to school with Nagisa going back home alone. He'd then start putting on his foundation.

   But Rei felt like something is wrong with his husband. As they had, he noticed him blinking slowly as if he is still sleepy. Worried, he went to touch his face and let his thumb rub his cheek, which to his surprise, made Nagisa twitch. 'Hey, you haven't slept last night?'

   'I did...' He trailed off, almost avoiding his eyes. Rei stared at him in disbelief as he stroked his face. He could sense that he's lying, judging by the dark circles formed under his eyes. 'But something woke me up, so I had a hard time sleeping.'

   Rei sighed before removing his hand. 'You should've went closer to me.'

   'I'm afraid I might wake you up.'

   He gave a soft smile. 'I don't care as long as you can sleep properly, penguin.'

   Nagisa felt his heart skip a beat.

   'I'm going to work now,' Rei said as he adjusted his glasses. He and Nagisa are in front of the teachers' office and they just sent their daughter to her classroom. The pale look on Nagisa's face seemed to worry him as he looked at him. He touched his cheek and gave a peck on the blond's forehead before adding, 'Good bye. I love you, Nagisa.'

   Nagisa smiled. 'Good bye. I love you too.'

   The walk home didn't seem to make him tired, but rather excited. Grabbing the white bag he hid under the bed, he sat in front of the mirror and sighed. He became worried about the circles Rei noticed; and by the look in his eyes, he feared that he'll lose interest in him, and eventually will leave him alone. A pain in his throat appeared as he continued staring at his face. The more he'd stare, the more he hated it.

   Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Still not beautiful.

   He held the foundation on his hand and opened it. It's silent, but Nagisa felt his heart beating so fast in delight as he applied it on his face, making his imperfections disappear. The simple glide of the lipstick pampered his longing for warmth while his eyes blinked as he applied thin layers of eyeshadow. He blended them, with such happiness counted in every swipe of his mascara while his eyes fluttered.